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~~~~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~~~~

Posted on 08/07/2009 5:36:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

OBAMAISMS
Let's look at some of the obsurd and inane things, this twit has said....


"it was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing." --confusing German for "Austrian," a language which does not exist, Strasbourg, France, April 6, 2009

"No, no. I have been practicing...I bowled a 129. It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something." --making an off-hand joke during an appearance on "The Tonight Show", March 19, 2009 (Obama later called the head of the Special Olympics to apologize)

"I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances." --after saying he had spoken with all the living presidents as he prepared to take office, Washington, D.C., Nov. 7, 2008 (Obama later called Nancy Reagan to apologize)

"I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." -- defending his tax plan to Joe the Plumber, who argued that Obama's policy hurts small-business owners like himself, Toledo, Ohio, Oct. 12, 2008

"What I was suggesting -- you're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith..." --in an interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, who jumped in to correct Obama by saying "your Christian faith," which Obama quickly clarified (Watch video clip)

"I'm here with the Girardo family here in St. Louis." --speaking via satellite to the Democratic National Convention, while in Kansas City, Missouri, Aug. 25, 2008

"Let me introduce to you the next President -- the next Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden." --slipping up while introducing Joe Biden at their first joint campaign rally, Springfield, Illinois, Aug. 23, 2008


"Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee -- which is my committee -- a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don't obtain a nuclear weapon." --referring to a committee he is not on, Sderot, Israel, July 23, 2008

"Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain...administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change." --Amman, Jordan, July 22, 2008

"How's it going, Sunshine?" --campaigning in Sunrise, Florida

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

"Hold on one second, sweetie, we're going to do -- we'll do a press avail." --to a female reporter for ABC's Detroit affiliate who asked about his plan to help American autoworkers (Watch video clip)

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." --at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon (Watch video clip)


"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" --after being asked a foreign policy question by a reporter while visiting a diner in Pennsylvania

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." --explaining his troubles winning over some working-class voters

"The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, you know, there's a reaction that's been bred in our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society."

"Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions." --exasperated by reporters after a news conference

"You're likeable enough, Hillary." --during a Democratic debate

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed." --on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people


“If they [his daughters] make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.”

“Thank you Sioux City” Obama said in Sioux Falls.

“My father served in World War II, and when he came home, he got the services that he needed.” (At the end of WWII, Obama’s father was 10 years old.)

Obama suggested that we need Arabic translators in Afghanistan, where they don’t speak Arabic.

“Well, Tim, first of all, it's not me who's criticized these proposals,” Obama said to Matt Lauer.

“Anybody gone into Whole Foods lately and see what they charge for arugula?...I mean, they're charging a lot of money for this stuff,” Obama said to a crowd in Iowa, where there are no Whole Foods.

“Well let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's.” “Israel is an ally of ours. It is the most important ally we have in the region, and there is no doubt that we would act forcefully and appropriately on any attack against Iran nuclear or otherwise.”

“I'm running to be commander of chief on a record of standing up for our wounded warriors.”

“Our troops fight and die in 120-degree heat to give Iraq's leaders the space to agree, but they aren't filling that space.”

"If I talked to Iran, I'm going to tell them, 'You should develop a nuclear weapon...."

In a speech, he poignantly referred to his “father’s” flag-draped coffin — except that he really meant his grandfather’s, who was a WWII veteran, and not his father, who died a Kenyan.

In early May, he talked to 30 supporters and told them the story of the “modest” background of himself and his wife — 10 minutes later, he told the same story all over again to the same people.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: gaffemachine; obamagaffes; obamaisms; obamajokes; ofst; potatoehead; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 08/07/2009 7:27:28 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

BEER WARNING

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that’s right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, April 2009, Sydney University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:-

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn’t drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary!!


42 posted on 08/07/2009 7:31:50 AM PDT by sunny48
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Comment #43 Removed by Moderator

To: Arrowhead1952

Maxine on California

Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall.... back in 1850?

California became a state

The people had no electricity.

The state had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically nothing has changed except the women had real breasts and the men didn’t hold hands.


44 posted on 08/07/2009 7:40:56 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket

45 posted on 08/07/2009 7:41:28 AM PDT by Dick Bachert (ELECTION 2010 IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF OUR LIFETIME! If you have to ask why, UR part of the problem!)
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket

Introducing the revolutionary – and we DO MEAN REVOLUTIONARY –2010 Obama Motors (formerly GM) HOPEMOBILE 1 ½ passenger, wind-powered transport unit.

Standard equipment includes:

In-dash teleprompter for those tricky and complicated toll booth conversations;

Audio CD of The Messiah’s book “Audacity of Hope” to be played on those calm days when no hot wind is available to power your HOPEMOBILE;

Large trunk for hauling those ACORN posters – and pre-marked ballots -- to the polling place on election day;

Ayres conditioning;

AND SO MUCH MORE!

CALL 1-888-CAR-SUCKS FOR DAILY PRICE UPDATES.

Test drive one the next windy day!


46 posted on 08/07/2009 7:43:31 AM PDT by Dick Bachert (ELECTION 2010 IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF OUR LIFETIME! If you have to ask why, UR part of the problem!)
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To: Lucky9teen

47 posted on 08/07/2009 7:46:36 AM PDT by BenLurkin (What is so offensive about liberty that it must be "reformed" out of existence?)
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To: Dallas59

Urk....


48 posted on 08/07/2009 7:53:35 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Impeach now....not next month... now)
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To: Lucky9teen
novemberfools

americantwilight

49 posted on 08/07/2009 8:02:54 AM PDT by Nateman (If liberals aren't screaming you're doing it wrong.)
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To: marine86297

You’ve got a ton of us laughing here at the help desk with that one.


50 posted on 08/07/2009 8:12:45 AM PDT by Tennessee_Bob (Save the Hispaniolan Solenodon!)
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To: Lucky9teen

A tale told by an idiot
Globe Staff / August 4, 2009

“The Sheriff at the Gates: A Farce in Three Acts’’

Act One

(A street in Cambridgeham. Most Exalted University Professor HENRY LOUIS GATES, freshly returned from the Land of the Asian Khan, is rattling the door of his keep. Enter a WENCH.)

WENCH: Alarum! Alarum! A thief is about!

GATES: Peace, ye fat guts!

(Enter SHERIFF CROWLEY)

CROWLEY: Stay, now! Who disturbs our peaceful shire?

GATES: I disturb no man. My key unlocketh not.

CROWLEY: Forsooth, thou breakest and enterest.

GATES (entering his castle): I break not for witless constables. Begone!

CROWLEY: Back speaks no man to the Sheriff; I arrest thee!

GATES: Knowest thou whom I am? That I am coy with the Daily Beastmistress, Milady Tina? That I am most down with Lady Oprah, the Queen of afternoon tele-dalliances? That I am sworn liege to Dr. Faust, of whom Marlowe wrote? That I unravelest literary mysteries at the Greatest University Known to Man?

CROWLEY: Of Tufts you speak? Even so, thou art under arrest.

GATES: Thou detaineth me because I am a Moor!

CROWLEY: Some of my best friends are Moors. Your pleas availeth not.

GATES: You shall rue the day you crost my threshold.

CROWLEY: Thou dost protest too much. (Escorts the handcuffed GATES offstage.)

Act Two

(Inside the faraway White Palace, where KING BARACK and his faithful DUKE AXELROD confer in an egg-shaped hall.)

AXELROD: The people are restless, sire.

BARACK: Aye, I offereth free poultices and physic to every man, woman, and child, but they spurn my generosity.

AXELROD: Their minds are elsewhere, at the ocean strand, or the playing fields of Fen.

BARACK: Yet I promise them health and long life. With but small increases in the annual tithes.

AXELROD: The people need distraction, my lord.

BARACK: A conflagration perhaps? My Israelite allies yearn to strike Nineveh. . .

AXELROD: Nay, the peasants tire of foreign entanglements. Forget not the disastrous reign of the House of Bush. (A page enters, and hands AXELROD a scroll.) What here? A saucy tale from Cambridgeham. The Sheriff has arrested a Moor for crimes unbefitting a gentleman.

BARACK: Stupid sheriffs arrest many Moors.

AXELROD: Perhaps in the Chicagoland of our youthful acquaintance, my lord. Not so many in Cambridgeham. ’Tis a most gentil and parfit place.

BARACK: Who is the man, and what is his crime?

AXELROD: ’Tis the Most Exalted University tutor Gates. Back has he spoken to the Sheriff, unbidden.

BARACK: Gates? I know this man. We have supped together on the enchanted Isle of Martha’s Vineland. I have seen him with Lady Oprah, prating about his ancestry.

AXELROD: Perhaps a photo op, my lord? We invite Gates and the Sheriff here, quaff ale in the summer heat, and proclaim peace and brotherhood among all men.

BARACK: And savor tobacco from the Duke of Marlboro?

AXELROD: Not with the people watching, sire. (Turns to page) Summon them here!

Act Three

(In the garden of the White Palace, GATES, BARACK and CROWLEY are sipping ale, joined by the FOOL.)

FOOL: What? No beer nuts?

BARACK: Silence, Fool! Or back to Delaware with you.

FOOL (sniffing his glass, suspiciously): What beer is this? I smell the filth of Antwerp and Bruges.

BARACK: ’Tis our nation’s finest, lately of St. Louis, now in foreign hands.

FOOL (Aside): ’Tis a light man that drinks a light beer.

BARACK: Enough prattle! We gather to share ale, and indulge in manly talk of harmony among our tribes.

FOOL: This is no manly talk. Women speak of harmony and quilt-making. Men speak of Signors Ortiz and Ramirez, and the forbidden magic elixirs of the Fen.

BARACK: Enough, Fool! (To GATES and CROWLEY) Now let us raise our cups and swear eternal friendship.

GATES (lifting his glass): I hail the Sheriff and the worthy constabulary! But for them, my name would not have spread beyond our shores, even to the Indes, Cochin, and beyond.

CROWLEY (toasting): I hail the learned tutor! That his castle door may henceforth spring open at his touch, and his neighbors mind their own knitting.

BARACK: All hail the new era of hope and change, when Moor and Sheriff like buds are hugging.

FOOL (belching, loudly): Another round, perhaps? We have only started chugging . . .

(Exit ALL, laughing.)

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/08/04/a_tale_told_by_an_idiot/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed2


51 posted on 08/07/2009 8:15:20 AM PDT by Hoodlum91 (There's a strange odor coming from the White House. Smells like BO.)
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To: Tennessee_Bob
You’ve got a ton of us laughing here at the help desk with that one.

That's what Friday silliness is all about, I hope I made your day a little more tolerable. ; )
52 posted on 08/07/2009 8:20:01 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
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To: SERKIT

53 posted on 08/07/2009 8:20:41 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (There is no truth in the Pravda Media.)
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To: Lucky9teen

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?” The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. “Please, ma’am.. May I sit down? I’m very tired.” She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”
This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, “Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b**ch out the window.


54 posted on 08/07/2009 8:21:49 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Lucky9teen; reagan_fanatic; a real Sheila; 50mm; Lizavetta; Roscoe Karns; edzo4; Netizen; ...
ragepres
55 posted on 08/07/2009 8:23:52 AM PDT by Nateman (If liberals aren't screaming you're doing it wrong.)
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To: Nateman
LOL!

Leave my man alone!


56 posted on 08/07/2009 8:27:55 AM PDT by 50mm (AARP is a steaming pile)
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To: Lucky9teen

Experts were confused early yesterday by a national burst in productivity... until they discovered that @Twitter was down.


57 posted on 08/07/2009 8:33:59 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: Lucky9teen

58 posted on 08/07/2009 8:37:05 AM PDT by 50mm (AARP is a steaming pile)
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To: DaveLoneRanger

OMG! It is real!

http://www.goodnewsbooks.biz/item/african-amer-exp/bible-cover-barack-obama-prayer-med/547890.html


59 posted on 08/07/2009 8:43:33 AM PDT by Califreak (My word calibrator's in the shop)
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To: Nateman

LOL - good one!


60 posted on 08/07/2009 8:46:39 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Impeach the sumbeech)
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