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$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$
National Donut Day ^
Posted on 06/05/2009 5:32:23 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
In light of Obama's "America Is A Muslim Country & Apology" Tour...
It goes without saying that Muslims are perhaps the least humorous folk on Earth; whereas Jews have learned to laugh at themselves, even turning that laughter into a business: Vaudeville. When I was growing up, my father never failed to tell me at least three jokes a day, most of them involving Jews and their eccentricities, customs, and travails. I'd like to continue that long tradition of Jews telling jokes, but with Muslims as the butt of the joke. You can't be civilized until you can laugh at yourself.
Perhaps in this way, someday, even radical fundamentalist Muslims may find themselves laughing. In fact, it would do my heart good to hear that a billion Muslims laughed themselves to death.
Many of these are probably in poor taste, to which I say tough camel titties.
Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces. [See photo above.]
Q. What's the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it's the other way around.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.
A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."
The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."
Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Government can do it all by themselves, thank you.
Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, I heard you were planning to leave me?
She replied, Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."
George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III", says Bush.
"Wow", says the guest. "And what are the plans?"
"We are gonna kill 140 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush.
The guest looks to be a bit confused. One...dentist?" He says. "Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: donut; muslim; obamaapologytour; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: Lucky9teen
81
posted on
06/05/2009 9:37:41 AM PDT
by
bdeaner
(The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? (1 Cor. 10:16))
To: a fool in paradise
I’m a glazed donut.
Okay, you know that you’re plain - and you’re cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone digs you.
And in a pinch, you’ll probably get eaten.
82
posted on
06/05/2009 9:37:57 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Business is too big too fail... Government is too big to succeed... I am too small to matter...)
To: CSM
“You’re an Eggplant!” (Super duper ping to the first person to name the movie)
To: the_devils_advocate_666
It’s on the tip of my tongue.....
84
posted on
06/05/2009 9:50:39 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Business is too big too fail... Government is too big to succeed... I am too small to matter...)
To: Lucky9teen
85
posted on
06/05/2009 10:00:53 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
(The U.S. Constitution may be flawed, but it's a whole lot better than what we have now)
To: the_devils_advocate_666
86
posted on
06/05/2009 10:01:46 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(The constitution was fine but now we should try this hopey changey thing.)
To: Pan_Yan
Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner. I’m a cantaloupe.
To: envisio
lol, watered down stuff barely able to be defined as beer? that might work well for a cheap cigarello like a swisher, but any decent stogie would be ruined by pairing it like that.
88
posted on
06/05/2009 10:05:13 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
To: Hoffer Rand
My bumper:
Had this one on for a few months:
Replaced it a couple days ago with this one:
I live in a college town. The lefties here don't have the balls to give me any crap. heh heh
89
posted on
06/05/2009 10:09:29 AM PDT
by
Augie
To: bdeaner
You Are a Socialist Donut |
So you're a little richer than most folks - but it's only because you know how to redistribute so well! You know how to take over other donuts and spread them around. You think you're the best, and that's mostly true... But remember, you're just an empty shell without control over others! |
90
posted on
06/05/2009 10:19:44 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Lucky9teen
91
posted on
06/05/2009 10:23:33 AM PDT
by
G8 Diplomat
(I'm learning Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, Pashtu, and Russian so someday you won't have to)
To: CSM
You Are a Jelly Donut |
Your poor command of the German language has you saying the craaaaaaziest things. |
92
posted on
06/05/2009 10:25:02 AM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(June 4, 2009 - the day Barack Obama threw all of America under the bus.)
To: Lucky9teen
Howdy folks! Powdered Toast Man to the rescue!
93
posted on
06/05/2009 10:25:39 AM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: absolootezer0
Cigarello? Just what in the name of SamHell is that?
94
posted on
06/05/2009 10:25:51 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Sexual Beer & BBQ Ribs)
To: envisio
rolled like a cigar, but closer to the size of a cigarette, usually pretty low end tobacco.
95
posted on
06/05/2009 10:27:55 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
To: Lucky9teen
re: 74
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lovvvvve achmed!
96
posted on
06/05/2009 10:34:14 AM PDT
by
MeekMom
(http://www.soroswatch.com/)
To: Shyla
Mmmm, I love devil’s food donuts!
To: Nateman
“Obama creme donut. (Hint: don’t eat it , you don’t want to know what kind of creme got injected!)”
I didn’t know that was where Bill Clinton was working
98
posted on
06/05/2009 10:39:59 AM PDT
by
DieNarrin
(Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!)
To: Lucky9teen
99
posted on
06/05/2009 10:50:59 AM PDT
by
Lost Dutchman
("Weep for the future Na'Toth, Weep for us all." (G'Kar-Babylon 5))
To: the_devils_advocate_666
Im a cantaloupe.I think at this point in the scene you have to shoot me.
100
posted on
06/05/2009 10:54:12 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(The constitution was fine but now we should try this hopey changey thing.)
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