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Post some good jokes
Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy
I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?
Thanks,
A_cool_guy
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: A_cool_guy
Three guys die and meet Saint Peter.
Saint Peter to first guy: Tell me your story. Why should I let you in?
First guy: I pay my mortgage on time every month, I'm up to date on my credit cards, and I have money invested--all in CDs.
Saint Peter: OK, you can go in. (To the next guy): What's your story?
Second guy: I'm a faithful husband, I support my family, I'm good to my children, and I love my dog.
Saint Peter: OK, go on in. (To third guy): And you?
Third guy: I drink, I smoke, I snort cocaine, and I'm way behind on my taxes.
Saint Peter: What have I seen you in?
To: Darksheare; Monkey Face; Tax-chick; sionnsar; Pippin
"Trust us, we envy you.
Considering that redheads were an experiment into genetic modification by passing aliens, we’re rather ineffective mutants.
Super ability?" I'm not entirely excluded. When I was a kid, the neighbors called me "Carrot Top". Not for my stand-up routine, either.
As for my Super Abilities, I keep that on the down-low.
Superman!
“Strange visitor from another planet...”,
I know how that must feel.
That’s why I’m surreptitious,
Whenever I bend steel.
We shouldn’t alarm the natives,
Just when does Superman sleep?
Now that they know his secret,
He has promises to keep.
Much better to stay quiet,
And work without the light.
No need to call attention,
To having X-ray sight.
Flying, of course, is forbidden,
Is it a bird or a plane?
It just makes complications,
That are much too hard to explain.
So all my powers are muted,
But I don’t have to fear in the storm,
At least I can quietly glance at my cup,
And keep my coffee warm!
NicknamedBob . . . . June 30, 2005
522
posted on
04/02/2009 6:06:03 PM PDT
by
NicknamedBob
(Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
To: NicknamedBob
523
posted on
04/02/2009 6:10:07 PM PDT
by
MHGinTN
(Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
To: MHGinTN
Zenna Henderson wrote of this ability to warm a cup by concentrating on it. I loved her stories.
It is surmised that her stories of “The People” were the precursors for the Disney “Witch Mountain” series.
It could be, but the matter was never litigated. Her stories still hold their value, though.
524
posted on
04/02/2009 6:25:25 PM PDT
by
NicknamedBob
(Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
To: NicknamedBob
Interesting! I never paid attention to the “Witch Mountain” series, but enjoyed Zenna Henderson’s stories way back when.
525
posted on
04/02/2009 6:28:02 PM PDT
by
sionnsar
(Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
To: sionnsar
New movie out with “The Rock” and Computerized Graphics sharing the spotlight. Could be interesting.
526
posted on
04/02/2009 6:46:07 PM PDT
by
NicknamedBob
(Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
To: NicknamedBob
Um. Please advise -- "The Rock"??
Anyways. I am off for night. See you tomorrow.
527
posted on
04/02/2009 6:47:46 PM PDT
by
sionnsar
(Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
To: sionnsar
Words that some people may get mixed up. Patrician, Perdition, Politician,
528
posted on
04/02/2009 6:48:44 PM PDT
by
ThomasThomas
( If I explained it to you , then it would not make since.)
To: sionnsar
"The Rock"?? He made the transition from "wrestling" to movie stardom.
It was either that or politics. Making an honest living was obviously out of the question.
529
posted on
04/02/2009 6:58:18 PM PDT
by
NicknamedBob
(Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
To: Darksheare; Monkey Face; sionnsar; radu
Darks?
What are we doing?
530
posted on
04/03/2009 3:53:00 AM PDT
by
Pippin
To: NicknamedBob; Monkey Face; Darksheare; sionnsar; Tax-chick
OY!
I got one for you!
What would you call it whe you see a dentist and an eye doctor having a drink in sa bar?
A "Paradox"!
531
posted on
04/03/2009 4:03:45 AM PDT
by
Pippin
To: Pippin; sionnsar; Monkey Face; NicknamedBob; Darksheare
Good morning, everyone! I’m largely recovered from yesterday. Girl Scouts is hard work!
Rained all night, but now we have sun!
532
posted on
04/03/2009 5:09:58 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
To: Pippin
533
posted on
04/03/2009 5:18:47 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
To: Tax-chick
Be glad that’s not her “out box” on your desk.
534
posted on
04/03/2009 5:48:53 AM PDT
by
NicknamedBob
(Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
To: NicknamedBob
Bill is in charge of cleaning the out box.
535
posted on
04/03/2009 6:15:00 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
To: Tax-chick
UHUH!
You look like you're on top! LOL!
536
posted on
04/03/2009 7:28:13 AM PDT
by
Pippin
To: NicknamedBob
Good Mornong, Bob!
Nice day if your a fish
No, wait!
It’s Friday!
EEK!
Not so nice day for a fish
how about a duck?
537
posted on
04/03/2009 7:38:56 AM PDT
by
Pippin
To: Pippin
I’ve been helping James with his Kindergarten workbook. Makes me feel smart and well-educated! “Circle the three things that are purple ...”
538
posted on
04/03/2009 7:47:38 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
To: NicknamedBob
He made the transition from "wrestling" to movie stardom.Last time I was waiting at my obstetrician's office, I saw Dwayne on one of the morning talk shows, discussing how great he thinks Barack Obama is. I no longer think he's cute.
539
posted on
04/03/2009 7:58:05 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ~Sam Brown)
To: Tax-chick
540
posted on
04/03/2009 8:53:30 AM PDT
by
sionnsar
(Iran Azadi | 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | "Also sprach Telethustra" - NonValueAdded)
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