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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: Monkey Face

Now to get three million gallons of melted carob and put it under pressure.
*wincing*


2,441 posted on 04/28/2009 12:44:48 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

*otch*


2,442 posted on 04/28/2009 12:51:28 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Monkey Face

Or just have Nadler sit on it.


2,443 posted on 04/28/2009 12:58:18 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

LOL!


2,444 posted on 04/28/2009 1:01:01 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Monkey Face

Course he might eat it til he bursts.


2,445 posted on 04/28/2009 1:03:35 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

Mo’ bettah fo’ HIZ se’f!


2,446 posted on 04/28/2009 1:04:33 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Monkey Face

Yeah.
Until he splodes from eating too much carob.


2,447 posted on 04/28/2009 1:07:43 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

Got popcorn?


2,448 posted on 04/28/2009 1:08:45 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Monkey Face

And an umbrella.


2,449 posted on 04/28/2009 2:44:18 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: A_cool_guy

This Mexican suffering from the swine flu walks in the bar...


2,450 posted on 04/28/2009 2:46:14 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Revolting cat!

So? Finish the joke, already!!!
LOL!


2,451 posted on 04/28/2009 2:55:59 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Monkey Face

Detective: The victimwas secured to the chair with crepe paper and beaten to death with cold biscotti.

Victim (Still in chair): I’m not dead!

Detective: Silence! We’re the professionals, and we’ve determined that you expired! Have more biscotti!
*Smack!*


2,452 posted on 04/28/2009 4:03:46 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare; Monkey Face

I combed a mat out of Wednesday’s fur. She hates me now.


2,453 posted on 04/28/2009 4:05:20 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Stay out of Mexico. Wash your hands. Keep your pigs outdoors.)
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To: Darksheare

Ah. You forgot to give the victim a choice between strawberry jam and molasses.


2,454 posted on 04/28/2009 4:08:09 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Tax-chick

Wednesday will forgive you by tomorrow. I had to cut the mats out of Tokyo Rose’s hair. She was my devoted fiend from then until she died.


2,455 posted on 04/28/2009 4:09:36 PM PDT by Monkey Face (Gravity always gets me down.)
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To: Tax-chick; Monkey Face

You are doomed to have cat belly on your sleeping face tonight.
You must give her proper tribute and bribes to prevent death by cat belly.


2,456 posted on 04/28/2009 4:10:51 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Monkey Face

Wednesday doesn’t like being brushed, but she’s shedding a lot. Fortunately she’s a shorthair, so the comb was enough to get the mat out.


2,457 posted on 04/28/2009 4:10:52 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Stay out of Mexico. Wash your hands. Keep your pigs outdoors.)
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To: Monkey Face

Marmalade, it’s his only choice.


2,458 posted on 04/28/2009 4:11:15 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

She doesn’t do that - too nervous. Shannon used to sleep on our pillows when she was a kitten, but she’s too big now.


2,459 posted on 04/28/2009 4:11:33 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Stay out of Mexico. Wash your hands. Keep your pigs outdoors.)
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To: Tax-chick; Monkey Face

Mimi loved being fussed over.
She’d prance and preen if she saw me pull out the comb.
Then she’d do this loud rumbling decidedly non-housecat purr.


2,460 posted on 04/28/2009 4:12:31 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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