Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[GOPJ]

We are putting in a still room in the basement.

What's a "still room" and why are you feeling "uneasy"?

I grow my own basil...

[Tax-chick]

I wish I had a basement!

[Tax-chick]

Thank you! This is all rather sudden - she only saw the recruiter about a month ago - but we have a few more weeks to get paperwork together and have a baby!

[Tax-chick]

Anoreth has to finish the semester at Central Piedmont CC, but it’s not difficult. The instructors appear to be bored and are cancelling classes, so they’ll have to give everyone with a pulse an A!

[AnAmericanMother]

Wow, my perfessers never seemed to get bored . . . never cancelled classes anyhow.

My daughter's profs didn't cancel a single class today - she won't be in until later tonight.

[Tax-chick]

Well, you get what you pay for, and we’re not paying much!

[AnAmericanMother]

Don’t remind me . . . < groan! >

[Tax-chick]

From now on, the U.S. Government can pay!

Tom still wants to go to Davidson. They’re having the reptile show there later this month, and he’s skipping a Boy Scouts campout so he can go.

[AnAmericanMother]

The Head Herpetologist at Davidson is a really neat guy. Jo took a class from him. He puts venomous snakes out on the classroom floor (with a snake hook close by). She was sitting on the front row (natch). She said she tucked her feet up and sat on them, just in case . . . .

[Tax-chick]

I keep my feet up and away from stomping byos.

[AnAmericanMother]

Not VERY much better than a water moccasin!

Baby brother is a stomper too . . . he just blew in with 2 bushels of muddy laundry and a large appetite . . . been camping up on Lake Lanier for spring break with a couple of friends.

(And I JUST got the house clean!)

[Tax-chick]

I’ve been threatening to stop cleaning if all the people here won’t take their filthy shoes off ... but they’d disappear under the crud before *they* couldn’t stand it.

[AnAmericanMother]

Exactly. I basically just shut son's door and put a sign on it: "DANGER - RADIOACTIVE WASTE".

When he heads for Parris Island we're just going to gut the room to the bare sheetrock and floorboards and start over.

[Tax-chick]

My mother bought new furniture shortly before my brother left for the Air Force, but she wouldn’t let him and his friends sit on it!

[AnAmericanMother]

LOL!

I would have kept the plastic on it til he left!

[Tax-chick]

She said he had to move out by his 21st birthday, but since he had his AF admission date in writing, she let him stay another 8 weeks.

I’d better go give Vlad a bath, speaking of dirt, and DP has to take Tom to Good Friday service. I can’t sit up in a chair that long; my feet swell!

[AnAmericanMother]

They ought to have recliners in the narthex for ladies in an interesting condition.

[Tax-chick]

That would be kind! I took my shoes off last night and couldn’t get them back on.

[AnAmericanMother]

Fuzzy slippers. They make 'em now with rubber soles so you can actually go out and get the mail.

Would your doctor let you drink strong black tea? That always seemed to help me a little.

[ThomasThomas]

I have never felt the need to put shoes on to get the mail. Even when it has snowed, once the sidewalk was clean and dry.
But my hands must be kept warm even when it gets down to the 50’s here.