Crunch pub's final 2 drinkers

The Sun (UK) ^ | 10 Feb 2009 | Unknown

[patton]

A LANDLORD down to his last two customers in the credit crunch has put up signs outside his pub begging for more.

Publican Tim Gibson, 43, failed to attract drinkers with meal deals and flyers stuffed in letterboxes.

So he stuck blackboards on the pavement outside the Royal Oak in Blean, Kent, pleading for business.

One reads: “Wanted. Customers. No experience needed as full training will be given. Please apply within.”

He put up another aimed at wives which says: “Free husband creche. Is he getting under your feet?

“Leave him here while you shop — just pay for his drinks.”

Tim said: “The blackboards were the last resort — it’s a funny message but the sentiment is deadly serious.

“If we don’t get new people in we’ll close.

“We’ve got a small group of regulars — well, two at the moment — but it’s not enough.

“I’ve been in the pub trade for years and never known it to be like this.”

Andy Brown, one of the remaining regulars, said: “The only good thing is you get served straight away.”

[patton]

Don’t scare me like that, this early in the morning.

[Madame Dufarge]

Are they having fun yet? :-)

[patton]

I rather doubt it.

And it is sad - I have met some really interesting people in pubs.

Like, the guy who was Rommel’s top NCO. And a lady stuck in an airport, who was on the way to retrieve her daughter, who had been kidnapped (she was eating dinner, waiting for her flight). And ...

[Allegra]

Drunks love tossing dwarfs.

Midgets too, from what I understand.

[Cincinatus]

The price of beer in the UK has gone through the roof -- you're lucky if you can find a pint for 4 pounds or so (that's almost $6 a glass). Not to mention shortened pub hours such that when you feel like a drink, you have to go looking for a pub that's open.

The pub as an English institution is almost dead. The pub owners and breweries killed it.

[patton]

Now, why would a pub owner kill his pub?

[humblegunner]

I only toss the midget over or onto obstacles or objects he cannot clear alone.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[patton]

ah.

[Eric Blair 2084]

Collateral damage. Broke business owners. The libs and social engineers are willing to make that hard sacrifice of someone else’s life savings. They are brave.