Posted on 09/08/2008 7:08:55 AM PDT by Sloth
WASHINGTON -- Sources say Alaska Governor and Republican Vice-Presidential nominee persists in breastfeeding her youngest child, Trig Palin, in spite of the fact the scientists and economists agree that the practice will do nothing to drive down elevated milk prices or alleviate child hunger on a global scale. Palin, who declared October 2007 as Breastfeeding Awareness Month in Alaska, admitted earlier this year that she has been providing an unspecified amount of breast milk to her 4-month-old son.
Dr. Michel Fromage, spokesman for Médecins Sans Intégrité, lashed out at the mother of five on Monday. "This woman's do-nothing 'solution' is a slap in the face to starving children everywhere" and expressed doubt that the Governor's lactation is a carbon-neutral process. Dr. Fromage also said the candidate's unrepentant attitude sets a poor example for struggling mothers. "I have a real problem with what Sarah Palin is expressing."
Democrats and members of the media have repeatedly requested the McCain campaign submit Governor Palin's mammary glands to medical examination, in order to assess the long-term achievable yield; many Democrats claim that the reserve will dry up within a few years, providing temporary relief at best. The Republicans have resisted such calls, saying that any increase in supply is better than none, and that the non-destructive tapping methods used make harvesting the resource a no-brainer. "If it's there, stick a pump on it," shrugged one delegate at the recent Republican National Convention.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi pointed to Palin's practice as "predictable GOP shenanigans, pandering to big-money special interests like La Leche League." Pelosi also called for a special prosecutor to investigate claims of nepotism in Palin's awarding of the no-bid milk contract to son Trig just a few months before accepting the GOP nod. "This kind of sweetheart deal is typical of the Republican culture of corruption -- children of privilege and other relatives of powerful but unethical politicians, sucking at the government teat."
Pendulous swing voters seem dissatisfied with Palin's excuses. "Working people are paying $4 a gallon for milk, and this is the Republicans' solution?" fumed Greg Packer, a highway maintenance worker from New York, latching on to a common consumer complaint. "Sarah Palin's empty 'Suckle Here, Suckle Now' philosophy does nothing to solve the very real food supply problems we face." Packer suggested the aggressive use of Saudi Arabian wet-nurses as a more responsible alternative, in opposition to many Republicans' goals of weaning Americans off foreign sources.
The Obama campaign released a statement declaring that "while this sort of questionable contact between a woman and her minor child unavoidably evokes distasteful memories of the Larry Craig and Mark Foley scandals, let us be clear that Sarah Palin's swollen breasts are absolutely off-limits in this campaign." The statement adds that any campaign officials who raise the issue in the media will be sternly slapped on the wrist. Senator Obama had earlier gone on record as saying that he is "personally opposed" to infant starvation but that the moral questions involved are "above my pay grade."
I literally had to laugh at this line. brilliant!
I think this was Dr. Merde, not Dr. Fromage. ha
Funny stuff...
LOL!
Very creative...
Trig-gate!
I *think* I got all but didn’t feel like typing all of ‘em over again! That was a good laugh for me this morning.
I just read this to my husband and he was snorting pretzel goldfish out his nose!
Greg Packer, now that's funny.
>>but its still offensive.<<
Have you seen what they’ve really been writing about her???
LOL! You should have mentioned the fact that Dr. Fromage has been recognized for his work in treating lactose intolerant camels.
“Sarah Palin’s empty ‘Suckle Here, Suckle Now’ philosophy does nothing to solve the very real food supply problems we face.”
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Very clever... very funny article... I’m glad you wasted all your time posting it and mine in reading it!
Ten days ago, the 2008 election season suddenly became FUN!
haha!
Future spine doctor patient. :)
Oh yes! I was being a tad sarcastic.
oh!
And happy TENTH anniversary here on FR, btw!
(Well ... only 4-5 days late in that!). :)
Nice touch.
Hahahahahahahaha!
Thank you so much for the very humorous diversion.
Lordy! When will this election end?
I know...Nov. 4...;o)
10 years ? dam...that went by fast
In the beginning I had to learn to use a computer to go on FR
** Lordy! When will this election end?
I know...Nov. 4...;o) **
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Actually, the Registered Republicans vote on Nov. 4th.
ATTENTION DEMOCRATS: Democrats vote on Wednesday, November 5th ! And DON’T be LATE !!!
:^D
I agree. Nicely done.
Scrappleface did one that was an expose of Palin's extremist preacher, who says bizarre things in the pulpit like "God bless America."
Dr. Fromage prefers to be called “Le gran fromage”. Detractors refer to him as Mal Fromage behind his back. Just a point of information.
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