Posted on 05/20/2008 9:37:30 PM PDT by Daffynition
1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.
2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.
3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.
4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.
5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.
6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.
7. An unstamped passport.
8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.
9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.
10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at men.msn.com ...
OK. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but yes, it still counts as a man bag. Also, the 9mm is not a proven bear-stopping round. If it's a REALLY big magazine, like a giant Glock or service issue Beretta it is almost OK.
Real men carry N-frame revolvers. If you are a hard ass and a dandy then a 1911 in a shoulder holster is a workable alternative. If you just hate too much gun (how is that possible) a snub-nose in the pocket or something is acceptable.
The 9mm in a fanny pack is WRONG. I would say GAY, but that is not permitted anymore.
Good for you for having a CCW and carrying, in all seriousness!!
That’s nasty. What were the stickers for?
I lose #1 and #4. I live, breath and defend.
I object. If Pabst Blue Ribbon was good enough for my dad and his dad, then it's good enough for me.
Posting on threads like this.
Doh!
Scope Bite?
They've been around since the Vietnam war, and are used to improve one's aim. Many a VFW hall sported them.
But Caddyshack...
Grease around the rims of binoculars.
a real man can open a bottle with just the keys or any hard surface....lol
1. Pink shirts-nothing screams out “I’m Gay or sexually confused like a pink shirt. Don’t give me that “its OK now BS”.
2. Carrying an umbrella-(unless you’re carrying it for a woman to keep her dry). Umbrella carrying men just screams out “Hey I’m a candy-a$$ scared of water.
3. Working men using napkins (not talking about you guys in suits). That’s what shirt sleeves are for. A man using a napkin just gives off a tofu-eating aura that REAL men will avoid.
4. Cooking, if married. God gave us women-why the heck are you cooking?
I’m 57 5’8” and last year I gave a 6’3” smart ass 24 year old a shiner that he won’t soon forget
A "fixed" pet
Capri pants aka Bitch pants
Any clothing that contains the color pink
Shaving their legs or chest
Volkswagon Bugs
Celine Dion
Because it's hamburger night?
“Men should avoid following any list that tells them what to do.”
Especially from msn.com which more than likely had a poof do the writing.
Reading men.msn.com.
Xer Ping
Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.
Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.
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