Posted on 04/18/2008 7:38:55 AM PDT by Gopher Broke
The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
CHICK PARTY?
Can’t get much closer to hell than that.
I’ll be in the shed fixing my weedeater if ya’ll need any
pickle jars opened.
If you start talking to me while I'm watching the ball game do not assume I'm listening or even hear you.
I say this because it usually ends with:
"Have you heard anything I've said!"
To which my response will be:
"You were talking to me?"
Us guys are deep thinkers, analyzing a game and it's strategy's takes brain power a woman cannot comprehend.
Get our attention before speaking!
I like beer.
I hate going shopping.
Emotional, occasionally when pushed there.
We were out last weekend to a new venue and you cannot just reverse direction to get out of where we were. Hubby stopped and had us get directions. It saved us a ton of driving in circles time. He commented, "I do not know why they say men will not ask for directions." "It is so much faster most of the time."
I am amused by the list and the stereotypes.
Man Law!!! And series, these describe me to a t.
You do NOT want to know what we were doing (that was last Friday night). Saturday was more fabric, costuming, movies and make-up.
Yes, weedeater hell ;)
And, aren’t they shocked and surprised reading those rules?!
interesting tag line....
I'm an NFL fan (season ticket holder) and MLB fan.
I like beer.
Ditto.
I hate going shopping.
Major ditto. I detest shopping and find it an excrutiatingly boring endeavor.
Being invited to a wedding or baby shower strikes fear into my heart.
And I've never watched the Lifetime channel or any of those cable channels that show weddings and crap.
Something guys don't seem to understand....we don't all fit that stereotype that various forms of media love to perpetrate. ;-)
I think that..
1) the clerks ask because they're required to, not because they actually give a rip.
2) If the store had the thing in stock, it would be on shelves.
3) If the store *doesn't* stock the thing, then the clerk isn't going to pull it out of their back pocket.
4) Nothing is going to come of her request, so why bother?
Drives me up a tree. Might be filed in this list under "If you don't want me to fix your problem, don't tell me about it.", though.
"Something guys don't seem to understand....we don't all fit that stereotype that various forms of media love to perpetrate. ;-)"
PREACH IT SISTAH!!!!
You are my kind of lady. ;-D
Mrs WBill had some Lifetime Movie Misery-fest on a while ago. I walked into the room and said "Hmmph. Breast Cancer or Abusive Husband?"
She threw a pillow at me. Turned out it was both.
“””You do NOT want to know what we were doing””””
Well what were you doing?
My wife always says that I never listen to what she says, at least I think that’s what she said.
I watch boxing when ever I can.
Restocking our bottom drawer. :)
The toilet seat has got to stay up so the dog can drink.
I agree with that too.....
My girl loves the things I love. She loves drinking beer and playing poker and riding to the local bar for some hotwings and cold ones. She whines about NOTHING.
She would rather be in the company of men because she says women are so dramatic. Sometimes, when doing “men” things...I would rather have her there with me because she whines less than most of my guy friends.
It offends me as a guy that my fellow men even NEED a list like this. If they are having all those problems, they need a different woman.
The Dollar General has double A’s on sale. Just so you know....
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