****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

www.someecards.com ^

[Lucky9teen]

Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...April 15th is coming.................aaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

 

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POINTS TO PONDER:

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.



What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.

People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.


Due to taxation, politicians find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their net incomes with their gross habits.

To err is human - and to blame it on the Government is even more so.

Death: to stop paying taxes suddenly.

Where there's a will there's a tax shelter.

Tax loopholes are like parking meters. As soon as you see one they're gone.

A dollar saved is bound to be taxed.

The ideal solution is for the Government to live within its means not yours.

Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The tax office is of the same opinion.

[CougarGA7]

Give me your heart! Mine's about to quit.

[G8 Diplomat]

[girlscout]

I haven't seen one in person yet but did get a glimpse on the net. They may be fighting a loosing battle on forgery.

[spotbust1]

Wow, thanks so much. I guess I just better our that other drink before 12:00.

Happy Friday

[fredhead]

If you’re a married man.....

you can be either one of two things.

Happy......

or right.

I’m happy. I don’t remember the last time I was right.

Repeat after me: “Yes, dear; you’re right, dear; anything you say, dear.”

[Sax]

Is the Mrs. in the passenger seat?

[Hoffer Rand]

I got one as change a few days ago. The number 5 on the back is huge and bright purple. It almost doesn’t look real. I think the new $10 is pretty.

I agree with your assessment about forgery. Technology is advancing too rapidly to keep up with. I keep telling people before long we’re going to have to take a look at our justice system and what constitutes evidence, since so much in the way of photographic and video can be doctored.

[G8 Diplomat]

April 15: Beware the ides of March April

[Hoffer Rand]

Do you know the correct answer to “Do these pants make my butt look big?”

[swampdweller]

Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Cat/Monkey cross). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested.

[CougarGA7]

You have to stay behind her. She may hit a slick spot causing her to vear into traffic as you pass. SAFETY FIRST. The wife will just have to understand.

[CougarGA7]

Hm, I was thinking something about sniper fire. Or maybe something Matrix-related

There is no spoon.

[Lucky9teen]

OOhhh..I probably shouldn't have, but I emailed this to some friends and co-workers, and one of my co-workers responded with this:

Before you begin BASHING we Democrats, you may want to be more selective on who you send this too.

Boo freakin hoo....I guess the truth hurts, eh? What I didn't tell him, is that there are some here in my office, who send me all sorts of "bashing conservative" emails (since most that work here are liberals)...but do they care if it insults or bothers me? However, I tend to let those emails slide, because most are based on rumors, lies and BS and not in truth anyway.

[Sax]

There is no spoon.

This guy was wishing there was no bat.

[Eva]

bashing we??????

I sure hope that the person that wrote that email does not handle any communication for the company that you work for.

[fredhead]

The correct answer is “Of course not.”

I can’t figure it out. My wife is 5’3”, weighs 109, and swears that she’s fat. Nothing I say convinces her otherwise. I gave up.

[copaliscrossing]

Do you know the correct answer to *Do these pants make my butt look big?*

Yes I do (raising my hand)...
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NO, your butt makes those pants look big! (run for cover)!