Posted on 03/12/2008 12:22:06 PM PDT by Anti-Hillary
NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."
(Excerpt) Read more at orlandosentinel.com ...
That scares me.
Haven’t heard that one for a looooong time.
Relax!
Nobody’s asked the question:
If she was on the toilet for two years where did he go to the bathroom?
Reminds me of the old joke: Why are elephants always mad? You’d be mad, too, if you had to wipe with your nose.
Sheriff Whipple? this has to be a joke
Now we understand why Obama had his largest margin of victory in Kansas.
In a related story, the boyfriend “held it” for two years.
“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll go tomorrow.”
You saying she's his first cousin, now removed?
“But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a toilet bowel built for two!”
That’s what I am thinking too.
Just gross!
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Now, the first was the wife of the deacon of Dover,
And though it was known she’s a bit of a rover,
She liked it so much she thought she’d stay over,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the next was an athletic lady named Myrtle,
She jumped o’er the top like a steeple chase hurdle,
Her glasses got caught in the stay of her girdle,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the next was a lady, Elizabeth Bender,
Was doing all right till a vagrant suspender,
Got all tangled up in her feminine gender,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the next was a lady named Jennifer Kim,
She’d just settled in on a personal whim,
Somehow she got hers caught ‘tween the cup and the brim,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the next to go in was old Mrs. Shuster,
She sat on the handle and thought someone goosed her,
She said, Oh, my dear, it don’t feel like it used to,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the next was the Bishop of Chichester’s daughter,
She wanted to pass some superfluous water,
She pulled on a chain and the rising tide caught her,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat’ry;
They were there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Well, the last was a lady sweet Nellie Pumphrey,
She settled right in and she made herself comfy,
Somehow she found out she could not get her bum free,
And nobody knew she was there.
And it’s oh dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in our lavat’ry
They were there from sunday to saturday
Nobody knew they were there!
Did she have a lap top with internet access? Time can really pass by:').
The "authorities" must be crazier than she is, if they can't figure out that she's both mentally and physically disabled.
Every time the boyfriend went near the bathroom door he could her chanting, “Come on ice cream! Come on ice cream!”
She was alive?
Leni
Hubby said that he heard on our local news that she was deathly afraid of her family, and that was the original reason she refused to come out.
I simply can’t imagine why the boyfriend didn’t do something sooner.
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