Deputies: Naked man on crack when alligator attacked (Florida)

Sun Sentinel ^ | November 30 2006 | Amy L. Edwards

[Caipirabob]

LAKELAND -- Deputy Billy Osborne heard the man's cries for help but couldn't see him through the thick brush and pre-dawn darkness.

" 'I have two broken arms, and an alligator's got me pinned. I can't move. Please help me,' " the Polk County deputy sheriff recalled the man saying at a news conference Wednesday.

As Osborne listened, he followed the pleading voice through more than 20 yards of weeds in Lake Parker's murky, chest-deep water about 4 a.m.

Then he saw them: a naked man slumped over, caught in the jaws of a huge alligator amid thick cattails in bloodied water. He said the man, who had been using drugs and lost a lot of blood, seemed oddly calm.

...

Judd said Apgar told deputies he had been smoking crack cocaine at the adjacent park, but it was unclear why he was naked or how he was attacked by the alligator.

[Caipirabob]

LOL! I'm laughing at both the comments and the new keywords...I tried to be compassionate...for all of 2 seconds...really!

[Sax]

Ah, if he's just over 4 feet and a third of that is tail, he ain't so big. There's no doubt he'd scurry away if I tried to get close. I see him a few times a week on the grass trying to warm up in the sun. I'm sure once he gets too big, they'll have him pulled out of there and dropped in some remote lake.

Over in Orlando, Lake Jessup is the dumping ground for Orlando area gators pulled from neighborhoods. That lake is choc full of 'em. There was also a lake on Kennedy Space Center that looked like a dumping ground, one day I counted over 30 in about a 3 acre lake.

[devolve]

[potlatch]

Lol, I forgot about your alligator. Too bad the tail doesn't whack Bubba off the screen!

[devolve]

I upsized the Gator just for this thread post....

Too good to miss!

[TommyDale]

" Never mix crack and gators. "

Especially when naked.

[TommyDale]

I was on a business call at Kennedy Space Center. I came out to my car, and a 7 foot alligator was under it. I patiently waited for him to leave.

[Al Gator]

Butt munchin all the way!!

[Sax]

Then you'd appreicate this picture that I posted from KSC a few months back:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1610477/posts

[TommyDale]

Whoa!! How big was that one? I asked the gate guard as I was leaving, my heart still racing, "How often does that happen?" He laughed and said, "Too often!"

[DCPatriot]

Why don't cops unload their weapons into the head of the alligator instead of "playing tug-a-war"?

[Sax]

I don't really know, can't even see half of his tail, looks to be about 9 foot (give or take) I'd guess. The guy who found it came upon it with the lights off - can you image the giant electric exclamation point you'd feel in your brain as you recognized the large silhouette on the shop floor for what it was. That's a shot of adrenaline.

[Sax]

Gators are really fond of thrashing or taking their victims for a 'death roll' in the water - the deputies were probably unsure of their shots. Plus the guy was in it's mouth which means the brain was only a scant few inches away and it was dark.

[txroadhawg]

The town I live in Anahuac calls itself the Alligator Capitol of the US. We have GatorFest every year to coincide with the hunting season. People bring in the biggest catch as well as all kinds of gator food. Its a blast, y'all come visit some day.

[Hi Heels]

Gator Attacks Naked Man On Crack BLUES....

[george76]

Sounds like a good song title :

Gator Attacks Naked Man On Crack BLUES....

[lesser_satan]

Judd said Apgar told deputies he had been smoking crack cocaine at the adjacent park, but it was unclear why he was naked or how he was attacked by the alligator.

Comments, please.

[Larry Lucido]

I'd probably have said the same thing.

[RepoGirl]

I heard about this at the gym yesterday and was flabbergasted as to why this idiot was swimming in a lake at 4 in the morning.

The lakes here are so infested with the critters, that none of my triathlon buds want to go for outdoor swims.

But, all seriousness aside, this is just par for the course here in Florida. To borrow a quote from Steve Martin, "people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority..."

I love Florida.

[Caipirabob]

Alright...here it goes..."This is your gator. This is your gator on crackhead".

So does this now make the gator a "Crack-odile"?