The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles' Thread --AMISH WEDDINGS (October 6-8, 2006)

DollyCali and All of the Singles & their FRiends | October 6, 2006 | DollyCali

[DollyCali]

Amish Weddings

Family is the core element in the Amish church, and choosing a mate is the most important decision in an Amishman's life. Boys and girls begin their search for a spouse when they turn sixteen. By the time a young woman turns twenty or a young man is in his early twenties, he or she is probably looking forward to the wedding day. But several definite steps must be taken by a couple before they may marry.

Both must join the Amish church. They are baptized into the Amish faith and are responsible for following the Ordnung. The Ordnung is a written and unwritten set of rules for daily living. Joining the church prepares the young people for the seriousness of setting up their own home.
The young man asks his girl to marry him, but he does not give her a diamond. He may give her china or a clock. The couple keeps their intentions secret until July or August. At this time the young woman tells her family about her plans to marry.

A whirlwind of activity begins after Fast Day on October 11. Fall communion takes place the following church Sunday. After communion, proper certification of membership is requested, and is given by the second Sunday after communion. This is a major day in the life of the church because all the couples who plan to marry are "published." At the end of the service, the deacon announces the names of the girls and who they plan to marry. The fathers then announce the date and time of the wedding and invite the members to attend. The betrothed couple does not attend the church service on the Sunday they are published. Instead, the young woman prepares a meal for her fiance and they enjoy dinner alone at her home. When the girl's family returns from church, the daughter formally introduces her fiance to her parents.

After being published, the young people have just a few days before the ceremony. They are permitted to go to one last singing with their old group of friends. The girl also helps her mother prepare for the wedding and feast which takes place in her parents' home. The boy is busy extending personal invitations to members of his church district.

And the bride wore...blue. Blue may not be the most traditional color for a bridal gown, but in one instance it is actually the most popular color choice. Blue is a typical color chosen for weddings by young Amish women. Navy blue, sky blue and shades of purple are the most popular colors donning Amish brides in any year. An Amish bride's wedding attire is always new. She usually makes her own dress and also those of her attendants, known as newehockers, (Pennsylvania Dutch for sidesitters). The style of the dresses are a plain cut and are mid-calf length. They are unadorned, there is no fancy trim or lace and there is never a train. Most non-Amish brides wear their bridal dress once, but an Amish bride's practical dress will serve her for more than just her wedding day. Her wedding outfit will become her Sunday church attire after she is married. She will also be buried in the same dress when she dies. The bride and her attendants also wear capes and aprons over their dresses. Instead of a veil, the bride wears a black prayer covering to differentiate from the white cap she wears daily. And, the bride must wear black high-topped shoes. No one in the bridal party carries flowers.

The groom and his newehockers wear black suits. All coats and vests fasten with hooks and eyes, not buttons. Their shirts are white, and shoes and stockings are black. Normally, Amish men do not wear ties, but for the wedding they will don bow ties. The groom also wears high-topped black shoes, and a black hat with a three and a half inch brim.

All of the attendants in the wedding party play a vital role in the events of the day. But there is no best man or maid of honor; all are of equal importance.

Wedding dates for the Amish are limited to November and part of December, when the harvest has been completed and severe winter weather has not yet arrived. A full day is needed to prepare for the wedding. Most are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are used as days to prepare for or to clean-up after. Saturdays are not used as wedding days because it would be sacrilegious to work or clean-up on the following day, Sunday.

A typical Amish wedding day begins at 4 o'clock in the morning. After all, the cows must still be milked and all the other daily farm chores need to be done. There are also many last minute preparations to take care of before the wedding guests arrive. Helpers begin to arrive by 6:30 a.m. to take care of last minute details. By 7:00 a.m., the people in the wedding party have usually eaten breakfast, changed into their wedding clothes, and are waiting in the kitchen to greet the guests. Some relatives, friends and church members are invited to the ceremony, which is held in the bride's home.

The Forgeher, or ushers, (usually four married couples), will make sure each guest has a place on one of the long wooden benches in the meeting or church room of the home. At 8:30 a.m., the three-hour long service begins. The congregation will sing hymns, (without instrumental accompaniment), while the minister counsels the bride and groom in another part of the house. After the minister and the young couple return to the church room, a prayer, Scripture reading and sermon takes place. Typically, the sermon is a very long one.

After the sermon is concluded, the minister asks the bride and groom to step forward from their seat with the rest of the congregation. Then he questions them about their marriage to be, which is similar to taking wedding vows. The minister then blesses the couple. After the blessing, other ordained men and the fathers of the couple may give testimony about marriage to the congregation. A final prayer draws the ceremony to a close.

That's when the festivities begin. In a flurry of activity, the women rush to the kitchen to get ready to serve dinner while the men set up tables in a U-shape around the walls of the living room. A corner of the table will be reserved for the bride and groom and the bridal party. This is an honored place called the "Eck," meaning corner. The tables are set at least twice during the meal, depending on how many guests were invited. The tables are laden with the "roast," (roast chicken with bread stuffing), mashed potatoes, gravy, creamed celery, coleslaw, applesauce, cherry pie, donuts, fruit salad, tapioca pudding and bread, butter and jelly.

The bride sits on the groom's left, in the corner, the same way they will sit as man and wife in their buggy. The single women sit on the same side as the bride and the single men on that of the groom. The immediate family members sit at a long table in the kitchen, with both fathers seated at the head.

After dinner, the afternoon is spent visiting, playing games and matchmaking. Sometimes the bride will match unmarried boys and girls, who are over 16 years old, to sit together at the evening meal. The evening meal starts at 5:00 p.m. The parents of the bride and groom, and the older guests are now seated at the main table and are the first to be served. The supper varies from the traditional noon meal. A typical menu might consist of stewed chicken, fried sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, peas, cold-cuts, pumpkin and lemon sponge pies, and cookies. The day usually winds to a close around 10:30 p.m.

The couple's first night together is spent at the bride's home because they must get up early the next day to help clean the house. Their honeymoon is spent visiting all their new relatives on the weekends throughout the winter months ahead. This is when they collect the majority of their wedding gifts. Usually, they receive useful items such as dishware, cookware, canned food, tools and household items. Typically, when the newlyweds go visiting, they will go to one place Friday night and stay overnight for breakfast the following day. They'll visit a second place in the afternoon and stay for the noon meal and go to a third place for supper. Saturday night is spent at a fourth place, where they have Sunday breakfast. A fifth place is visited for Sunday dinner and a sixth for Sunday supper before they return to the bride's parents home. The couple lives at the home of the bride's parents until they can set up their own home the following spring.

"What are the Amish courting rituals?"

"For many of the Old Order Amish young people, "pairing up" begins at Sunday evening singings, The boy will take the girl home in his buggy. The couple is secretive about their friendship and courtship. Several days to two weeks before the wedding, the couple is "published" in church and their intentions to marry are made known. Weddings are held in November, or at the very latest in early December. That's after the busy fall harvesting season is over. Weddings are on Tuesdays or Thursdays--the least busy days of the week on an Amish farm. The wedding is held at the home of the bride and the sermon and ceremony will last about four hours. Weddings usually begin at 8:30 a.m. There are no kisses, rings, photography, flowers or caterers. There are usually 200 or more guests. After the wedding there will be a delicious dinner of chicken, filling, mashed potatoes, gravy, ham, relishes, canned fruit, plus many kinds of cookies, cakes and pies."

[DollyCali]

With the heartbreaking tragedy in Amish Country Pennsylvania this past week,we have all learned a bit more about the gentle people whom we call “Amish”. For this week ends Single thread I thought it appropriate to have a theme that could open the doors for discussion of the events of the week, the people & their life style & perhaps how this has all impacted you. To tell the difference between married & unmarried is easy. The men are unshaven & the girls normally bonnet free (some areas different). In carriages “Courting couple” ride in UNCOVERED buggies. The married couples/families in covered buggies. Some of the buggies are shown below

[DollyCali]

Tentative schedule

..(post here any thoughts, problems etc)I know things come up at last minute. Snugs and I will do our best to help you with modifications, emergencies. Contact anyone on the list to help you ping. If you work until late Friday night you can post the thread on Thursday :& find someone to ping it Friday PM...

October

13-15 snugs
20-22 nowhereman
27-29 Kate of Spice Island/Dolly – Things that go bump in Night


Nov

3-5 rock in right
10-12 army air corps
17-19 wftr
24-26 - DollyCali - Thanksgiving

Dec

1-3 proud yank
8-10 nowhereman
15-17 rzeznikj at stout;

[DollyCali]

Early Ping. Friday Night Lights in Ohio.

Play Nice!

Later.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Damn. Beat by ping...

...again 8^)

[Lokibob]

Enjoyed learning about an Amish wedding, thanks. Bob

[GOP_Raider]

The couple is secretive about their friendship and courtship.

Not quite as easy as it looks I assume, even for the Amish.

[oldtimer2]

I have attended 2 Amish weddings. The 3 hour sermon that your article mentions is all in German, not pennsylvania dutch.

As we "English" visitors did not understand much of what was happening, an Amish man was assigned to sit with us and explain what was happening. I asked him what the subject of the sermon was. He explained that it began with Adam and Eve and pretty much concluded with the wedding that day.

The food was very much like a Thanksgiving Day dinner. Everyone was very happy and many of the young unmarried boys and girls pulled elaborate practical jokes on the bride and groom.

Altogether, a very interesting day.

[Little_shoe]

My moms grand parents live in rural Kentucky near Mammoth Cave National Park. They have a lot of Amish Folk who live in the Area. I have had the opportunity to work and break bread with them. They are nice people in very traditional way. I personally wouldnt want to live like that but thats just me. The running joke in the family is that I need to get an amish bride. Though I doubtful since Im not sure an Amish girl would want to be a military wife.

[snugs]

Very interesting and sad in view of last few days.

[A knight without armor]

Tonight at Publix I noticed Amish ladies on the cover of People magazine. I thought, well, that's different.

[merry10]

I saw that too and wondered if they dont' need a photo release. The Amish wont sue, I don't think. On our local news they talked about the national media being invasive vs. the local news, who respected the wishes of the Amish.

[Battle Axe]

Don't know where that post came from.

I live in Amish Indiana. I employ Amish girls to weave rugs and am employed as a taxi driver when we are not weaving rugs.

The reason the Amish need taxi drivers is that our community as spread out further than a horse can go in one day and still return. So if they want to go somewhere the horse can't, they call me.

I enjoy getting out and seeing the countryside. I have a great deal of patience and so it is a good fit.

Our Amish get married almost any time of the year. Probably not in the dead of winter, but from March through November there can be as many as 5 wedding a week.

The limiting factor is the cook wagons. There are several companies that rent a trailer with several stoves, refrigerators and food preparation areas to the Amish. You almost have to sign up for one of them on the first date!! Then you also need the dish wagon, another wagon that rents for about 300 for a few days that contain place settings for 250 guests.

To be invited is an honor. But our Amish will invite the English for the 5:30 dinner only.

It is true that the ceremony last for 3 hours. And they cannot tell anyone until they are published. But they can only be published 6 weeks in advance. There is way too much for them to do in 6 weeks so a lot in done in secret. You know they are going to get married if they join church.

The worst thing they can do is join church, get married and then leave the church. It is much better that they don't join if they have any inkling they will leave. And there are some that never join and become English.

Indiana Amish are a little different than the Penn. or Ohio bunch. They dress slightly different and they have (or at least the one that works for me now said) they have trouble understanding the other settlements.

I suppose it would be like a Californian trying to understand someone from Maine...just an accent problem.

If anyone has any questions, I'd be glad to answer.

All of our Amish school are the very same as the one in PA.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Interesting read...

Don't know a whole lot about the Amish (though I've been through Amish country several times--in Wisconsin, a lot of the Amish live in Clark Co.

[RockinRight]

Evening, peeps!

[pcottraux]

Hello, brother-in-arms.

[RockinRight]

Anything new?

[pcottraux]

Ah, not really, I guess. Going to work and then coming home is pretty much my full day nowadays.

[Nowhere Man]

My moms grand parents live in rural Kentucky near Mammoth Cave National Park. They have a lot of Amish Folk who live in the Area. I have had the opportunity to work and break bread with them. They are nice people in very traditional way. I personally wouldnt want to live like that but thats just me. The running joke in the family is that I need to get an amish bride. Though I doubtful since Im not sure an Amish girl would want to be a military wife.

I remember when I was in Wooster, Ohio visiting a friend, that is a huge Amish area in Ohio. We stopped at a restaraunt that had the biggest cuckoo clock in the world and an Amish young lady was our waitress. She was kind of cute and my buddy seems to think "she had the hots for me." B-) I dunno myself. I know in my case, I might be described as "half a$$ed Amish" where I might not have the latest technology but still use it. Let's face it, I use a Pentium II computer, a 1982 Zenith color TV, a plain jane cellphone from 2002 (no color display) and a 1953 Philco radio for example, but even that might be too much tech. Still though I do admire them for their close families and community. My heart goes out to them in Lancaster for what happened this week.

[Shyla]

I live in Geauga County in Ohio, about 12 miles from the Amish community in Middlefield. Very nice group of people. I see basically the same group of men and boys on daily basis at the gas station on my way to work in the a.m.

The married men generally do not look at you or speak to you, the boys (unmarried) are sweeter and funnier than you can believe. Great sense of humor, and they will talk to you to no end, until the marrried men give them "the look". Though, the married men are polite and nice.

It is a very, very strict way of life. I remember way back when in the bar days of the teenage Amish girls going into the bar, going into the restroom and walking out looking like they came from an escort service. Even then, it was easy to understand. The life is tough and strict.

The sad part is that the Amish community is shrinking. Cousins are marrying cousins and there is the sad result of some the children being born deaf. Thank God that there is a wonderful hospital system here (University Hosp of Cleveland) that reach out and assist.

I hope so much that this community does not die out. The burbs are reaching out here fast. I hope it will not wipe out such an awesome community.

[Shyla]

I have to add one thing though. The media is trying to make the Amish their "darlings". If the media had a clue they would know that Amish do not like having their pictures taken.

Amish dolls do not have faces for a reason. Vanity.

I do know that the world wants to see these pictures, but....