Posted on 07/10/2006 10:52:55 AM PDT by Mr. Brightside
Redneck Games Draw Crowds To Georgia
Events Include Toilet-Lid Tossing
POSTED: 10:07 am EDT July 10, 2006 UPDATED: 1:31 pm EDT July 10, 2006
MACON, Ga. -- A lowbrow celebration of all things tacky drew thousands of people over the weekend to Georgia.
The Redneck Games are a 10-year-old tradition in East Dublin.
The event was started by a local radio station as a spoof of the Summer Olympics in Atlanta.
It has grown in popularity over the years, and now includes competition in events like mud-pit belly flopping, toilet-lid tossing and the "arm pit serenade."
Instead of a gold medal, top prize for most events is a trophy topped with a crushed Bud Light can.
Last year's event drew more than 15,000 people.
Do they have a Tobacco Spittin' contest?..........
...a tordado comes through your neighborhood and causes $100,000.00 worth of improvements!
...you've ever had to haul a gallon of paint up a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Whut about a butt-scratchin' contest?
The Crème de la Crème aspiring to the highest of human endeavour.
Or a Loudest Beer Belch Contest?...............We have a Mullet tossin' Contest..........
LOL!
I go to that town once a month on business (it's really a nice place, beautiful country and the food is wonderful!!!)
Does possum stew and fried chitterlings still qualify as food?
And what is this talk I hear of a belching contest? Where do I sign up?
... if your most romantic moment was interrupted by a police officer with a flashlight.
Your front porch collapses and kills 9 dogs.
Speaking of toilet-lid tossing, did Hillary attend?
The Kentucky Redneck Engineer Challenge
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called "smart" ass Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane ( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Kentucky shack and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
Country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya .... There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece ....
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
When driving through do you ever have the urge to say "Hold muh beer and watch this!"?
you know what is meant by the "Manifold Method" of cooking. Extra points if you've ever tried it ... more than once.
"a trophy topped with a crushed Bud Light can."
We even have large cup holders;)
http://brokenjokerspast.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/redneck01.jpg.w300h272.jpg
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