Posted on 04/28/2006 6:59:08 AM PDT by Xenophobic Alien
It's friday
I'm here!
Very slightly doctored...
[Now I'll leave before this turns into the flirty FReeper thread!]
So, this isn't really silly, but my 6 year old started his day with horror this morning. Hubby walked him to the bus stop. His stop is on a very busy road. A car struck a bird right in front of them. It lay on the ground flopping around. Soon, the bus came and rolled over it making a crunching sound. Poor kid will be traumatized by this all day long.
Thanks honey!
They're beautiful!
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
Fracturing a vertebrae is not the ideal way to get some time off from work. The doctor's visits, pain and endless hours of inactivity make you long daily work life. (Well, almost.)
Desperately in need of a good laugh I finally got one this morning. As you may know children these day have a choice of undergarments. Long gone are the days of just boxers or briefs. Today the choices are endless, Batman Scooby doo and countless others to choose from.
Recently My wife and four year old son did a little shopping. It seems Batman just doesn't fit anymore and so came the time for a purchase.
Now I don't know how many of you are familiar with the movie Toy Story but he certainly is. As I sipped my morning coffee and scanned the paper I was interrupted with an important announcement from my son.
"Dad, look I got Woody on!"
What is this kid learning in preschool anyway? I raised a wrinkled brow and lowered my paper. There stood my son, a huge grin on his face, sporting his new underwear. Yup, there he was, Woody the sheriff.
You're welcome my dear!
Road Kill... It's what's for dinner
IB450
My Wife Left Me......
I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had
to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big
drinker, maybe a 12 pack on weekends.
Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery
shopping and when I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup.. I said,
"Wait a minute, I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back.
Happy Friday! :)
The car pool is much more fun with gat at $3 a gallon.
I'd like to try... just once... the drugs that guy must do to come up with those strips.
OK so this is a little silly.
I'm watching the news this morning and they're showing a clip of one basketball player basically tackling another during an NBA game last night.
The Anchorette has this clever quip "Apparently (name of player) forgot what game he was playing last night...this looks a lot more like football than baseball."
And looks even MORE like basketball!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
The urinals are funny enough, but I wonder how many drunk people lose their balance and fall over in there. Those tiles mess with my eyes.
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