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Man severs own penis, throws it at officers
Chicago Sun Times ^ | March 17, 2006 | Eric Herman

Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hatewhenthathappens; lostmypenisagain; ouch; tallywhackertosser; wadlist; wodlist
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To: Rutles4Ever
"this guy cut his own flipping penis off and went back in to get more knives! That's f'ing incredible!"

Plus he was tased with no penis -- probably the first time that has EVER happened to ANYONE!
41 posted on 03/17/2006 6:24:23 AM PST by jdm ("To cure your phone phobia, call us today.")
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To: jdm
The Saga of John Wayne Bobbitt
(sung to the tune 'In the Jungle')
by Steve Longlad

A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,

In the village, the quiet village, John Bobbit sleeps tonight,
In the village, the quiet village, Lorrena creeps tonight.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

In the bedroom, the quiet bedroom, John Bobbit sleeps tonight,
In the kitchen, the quiet kitchen, Lorena gets the knife.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, John pissed off his wife tonight,
In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, she chopped with all her might.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

On the roadway, the village roadway, Lorena speeds tonight,
On the roadway, the village roadway, she tossed his weenie right.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

On the roadway, the village roadway, they searched for half the night,
On the roadway, the village roadway, they found his weinie sliced.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and make my weinie right.
Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and sew it back on tight.
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,



42 posted on 03/17/2006 6:24:27 AM PST by FReepaholic (I was FReepin' when FReepin' wasn't cool.)
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To: jdm

Good thing they hadn't been responding with a K-9 unit.

Snausages.


43 posted on 03/17/2006 6:24:40 AM PST by Sax
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To: jdm

This guy's a real d*ck...


44 posted on 03/17/2006 6:25:18 AM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR)
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To: jdm
I heard one officer had to go to the hospital, as the , ahem member hit him in the face. It left him c*ckeyed.

CC

45 posted on 03/17/2006 6:25:27 AM PST by Celtic Conservative (Billy Tauzin about Louisiana: "half the state is under water, the other half is under indictment")
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To: jdm

I just hate in when one of these threads get me laughing and I can't tell a soul why.


46 posted on 03/17/2006 6:25:41 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Self appointed RNC Press Secretary for Smarmy Sound Bites.)
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To: jdm

Maybe he just got tired of having to stand up all the time to pee.


47 posted on 03/17/2006 6:25:52 AM PST by reagan_fanatic (Darwinism is a belief in the meaninglessness of existence - R. Kirk)
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To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity

Apparently he lost more than his a$$...


48 posted on 03/17/2006 6:25:54 AM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR)
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To: robertpaulsen; tpaine; Physicist

Bobby boy, this wasn't you, was it?

No...this guy at least HAD a girlfriend!


49 posted on 03/17/2006 6:26:34 AM PST by Eagle Eye (There ought to be a law against excess legislation.)
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To: jdm

Considering the pain factor, I was going to say it takes a real man to do that...but I guess not.


50 posted on 03/17/2006 6:27:09 AM PST by libs_kma (USA: The land of the Free....Because of the Brave!)
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To: jdm

I wonder if he was playing hard ball or soft ball . . . .


51 posted on 03/17/2006 6:28:37 AM PST by drb9
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To: Eagle Eye

"No...this guy at least HAD a girlfriend!"

Ouch!


52 posted on 03/17/2006 6:28:42 AM PST by jdm ("To cure your phone phobia, call us today.")
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To: jdm
Perhaps he'll get the Penis Pump judge.
53 posted on 03/17/2006 6:28:47 AM PST by DancesWithBolsheviks (No guestworkers while able bodied and sane people are on our welfare rolls.)
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To: jdm

I wonder if they put it on ice right away.

This story needs a follow up.


54 posted on 03/17/2006 6:28:55 AM PST by Global2010
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

You might find this funny...


55 posted on 03/17/2006 6:30:18 AM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR)
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To: jdm

Let's see him do that again!


56 posted on 03/17/2006 6:30:22 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (Never bring a knife to a gun fight, or a Democrat to do serious work...)
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To: dighton

rofl!


57 posted on 03/17/2006 6:30:28 AM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: jdm

Why post this junk?


58 posted on 03/17/2006 6:31:05 AM PST by duckln
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To: All

Bad time to lose one's head....


59 posted on 03/17/2006 6:31:43 AM PST by texan75010
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To: jdm

Everything was going fine until dickless here went crazy and we had to taser him.


60 posted on 03/17/2006 6:32:38 AM PST by VRWCmember
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