Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm
Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.
"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.
Smashing car windows
Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.
Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.
The occupants were not home, he added.
Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.
"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.
Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.
Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.
"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
(sung to the tune 'In the Jungle') by Steve Longlad A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, In the village, the quiet village, John Bobbit sleeps tonight, In the village, the quiet village, Lorrena creeps tonight. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack In the bedroom, the quiet bedroom, John Bobbit sleeps tonight, In the kitchen, the quiet kitchen, Lorena gets the knife. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, John pissed off his wife tonight, In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, she chopped with all her might. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack On the roadway, the village roadway, Lorena speeds tonight, On the roadway, the village roadway, she tossed his weenie right. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack On the roadway, the village roadway, they searched for half the night, On the roadway, the village roadway, they found his weinie sliced. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and make my weinie right. Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and sew it back on tight. A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack, |
Good thing they hadn't been responding with a K-9 unit.
Snausages.
This guy's a real d*ck...
CC
I just hate in when one of these threads get me laughing and I can't tell a soul why.
Maybe he just got tired of having to stand up all the time to pee.
Apparently he lost more than his a$$...
Bobby boy, this wasn't you, was it?
No...this guy at least HAD a girlfriend!
Considering the pain factor, I was going to say it takes a real man to do that...but I guess not.
I wonder if he was playing hard ball or soft ball . . . .
"No...this guy at least HAD a girlfriend!"
Ouch!
I wonder if they put it on ice right away.
This story needs a follow up.
You might find this funny...
Let's see him do that again!
rofl!
Why post this junk?
Bad time to lose one's head....
Everything was going fine until dickless here went crazy and we had to taser him.
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