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Man severs own penis, throws it at officers
Chicago Sun Times ^ | March 17, 2006 | Eric Herman

Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hatewhenthathappens; lostmypenisagain; ouch; tallywhackertosser; wadlist; wodlist
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To: eeevil conservative

LOL! We leave you on your own for a few minutes, and look at the trouble you get yourself in!! LOL! ;>)


201 posted on 03/17/2006 1:22:43 PM PST by Primetimedonna (Charter member of the San Francisco SnowFlakes! We love our Tony! It's SAN FRANCISCO, not Frisco.)
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To: eeevil conservative

Oh my!


202 posted on 03/17/2006 1:23:08 PM PST by defconw (Proud Member of the Bucket Brigade! Yes I am a Bushbot, so what of it?)
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To: Primetimedonna

wooooooooooooooops!

BUSTED!


203 posted on 03/17/2006 1:25:04 PM PST by eeevil conservative (the GREATONE THINKS I'M GREAT! AND HE AGREES WITH WHATEVER I SAY!)
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To: jdm

For some reason, the first thing I pictured was George Reeve as Superman ducking when someone threw a gun at him. "Why does Superman duck?" Maybe because he's scared it'll be a severed penis? LOL.


204 posted on 03/17/2006 1:26:12 PM PST by Rastus
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To: eeevil conservative; Lazamataz

eevil, have you met Laz? Somehow I think you two will have much in common!! Two of my favorite FR comedians!! ;>)


205 posted on 03/17/2006 1:27:35 PM PST by Primetimedonna (Charter member of the San Francisco SnowFlakes! We love our Tony! It's SAN FRANCISCO, not Frisco.)
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To: Primetimedonna; Lazamataz

Hey LAZ!

I PTD says you are a HOOT- you MUST BE!.. by the way...

how's that sewing coming....have a MAN-made Quilt yet?


206 posted on 03/17/2006 1:38:46 PM PST by eeevil conservative (the GREATONE THINKS I'M GREAT! AND HE AGREES WITH WHATEVER I SAY!)
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To: jdm

He'll be appearing later today in small-claims court.


207 posted on 03/17/2006 1:40:54 PM PST by Jhensy
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To: Global2010

I don't know, the scar tissue could be a plus like a French tickler


208 posted on 03/17/2006 1:42:53 PM PST by tom paine 2
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To: Fintan

Ping me!


209 posted on 03/17/2006 1:43:57 PM PST by tom paine 2
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To: alice_in_bubbaland

Ping (courtesy of eeevil conservative)


210 posted on 03/17/2006 1:49:30 PM PST by Primetimedonna (Charter member of the San Francisco SnowFlakes! We love our Tony! It's SAN FRANCISCO, not Frisco.)
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To: jdm; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; SandyInSeattle; Darksheare; tiamat; OSHA; ...
BUGS BUNNY: "Daffy, that's a great act!"

DAFFY DUCK: "Yeah, but I can only do it once."


211 posted on 03/17/2006 2:03:33 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("Facts are a Zionist plot!" --MarkL)
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To: Primetimedonna

LOL! SUre!

BLAME ME!


212 posted on 03/17/2006 2:11:29 PM PST by eeevil conservative (the GREATONE THINKS I'M GREAT! AND HE AGREES WITH WHATEVER I SAY!)
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To: freedomlover
Maybe Van Gogh wasn't the craziest man on earth
That's a good thought. Wonder if he was a painter? There could be some valuable paintings in his house! ;-)
213 posted on 03/17/2006 2:14:58 PM PST by Tunehead54 (Nothing funny here ;-)
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To: eeevil conservative

OUCH
OWWIE
OW


214 posted on 03/17/2006 2:25:44 PM PST by Fudd Fan (Truth will set us all free. Libs will get us all killed.)
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To: Fintan

Thanks for the ping.

My guys will take on your wimps any day of the week! That is, after the diaper change...

215 posted on 03/17/2006 2:25:49 PM PST by melt (Someday, they'll wish their Jihad... Jihadn't.)
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To: jdm

Wow, what kind of drugs as he on?
He's definately got balls doing that.. and now it's probably all he's got.


216 posted on 03/17/2006 2:36:03 PM PST by Trillian
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To: jdm

"When you get to the Slawson cut-off, get out of your car and cut off your Slawson..."


217 posted on 03/17/2006 2:39:21 PM PST by mhking (Snakes -- On A Plane!)
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To: jdm

Somehow, I think an insanity defense just might work in this case.


218 posted on 03/17/2006 2:48:46 PM PST by connectthedots
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To: tom paine 2

Ack...this thread made it to 250?

I think some one should be so kind to add a Leprechon dancing with the Irish Jig.

Yes?


219 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:28 PM PST by Global2010
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To: tsmith130

"Man, he was pissed off."

Oh, that was baad!


220 posted on 03/17/2006 8:42:35 PM PST by Gondring (I'll give up my right to die when hell freezes over my dead body!)
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