DAFFY DUCK: "Yeah, but I can only do it once."
Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm
Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.
"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.
Smashing car windows
Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.
Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.
The occupants were not home, he added.
Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.
"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.
Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.
Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.
"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
LOL! We leave you on your own for a few minutes, and look at the trouble you get yourself in!! LOL! ;>)
Oh my!
wooooooooooooooops!
BUSTED!
For some reason, the first thing I pictured was George Reeve as Superman ducking when someone threw a gun at him. "Why does Superman duck?" Maybe because he's scared it'll be a severed penis? LOL.
eevil, have you met Laz? Somehow I think you two will have much in common!! Two of my favorite FR comedians!! ;>)
Hey LAZ!
I PTD says you are a HOOT- you MUST BE!.. by the way...
how's that sewing coming....have a MAN-made Quilt yet?
He'll be appearing later today in small-claims court.
I don't know, the scar tissue could be a plus like a French tickler
Ping me!
Ping (courtesy of eeevil conservative)
DAFFY DUCK: "Yeah, but I can only do it once."
LOL! SUre!
BLAME ME!
OUCH
OWWIE
OW
Thanks for the ping.
My guys will take on your wimps any day of the week! That is, after the diaper change...
Wow, what kind of drugs as he on?
He's definately got balls doing that.. and now it's probably all he's got.
"When you get to the Slawson cut-off, get out of your car and cut off your Slawson..."
Somehow, I think an insanity defense just might work in this case.
Ack...this thread made it to 250?
I think some one should be so kind to add a Leprechon dancing with the Irish Jig.
Yes?
"Man, he was pissed off."
Oh, that was baad!
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