Chris Woodman (right) pretends to give a s*** about wife Jena's incessant babble.
Posted on 02/21/2006 5:47:53 PM PST by Graybeard58
Lafayette, Ga. -- Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband Chris Woodman pretended to give a s*** Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.
According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.
"I love my wife, but, does she like to talk sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."
Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," Woodman pretended to give a s*** about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.
"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.
Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-s*** veneer was not a complete waste.
"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."
In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a s***.
Woodman said he often pretends to give a s*** about what his wife says.
"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."
Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."
After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a s*** about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.
"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."
"I pretend to give a s*** because I care," Woodman added.
Chris Woodman (right) pretends to give a s*** about wife Jena's incessant babble.
One does the same thing with an eight year old child's minute description of a film they saw yesterday.
LOL I am cracking up!
Sent the link forward...
Ping
Does any of this sound familiar?
I fully expect to get bashed any minute now.
I don't know, I never listened
I pinged my sons but I don't expect a reply. I think their wives lurk at F.R.
Uh-huh....yeah, I agree...Sure thing, Graybeard58...
Some women should just plain shut up. imho.
"Oh yeah baby your the best,...no other man can make me feel good like you can baby, please don't stop" ...lol (wink)
looks a bit dumpy, doesn't she?
Not next to him.
Irrelevant. Doesn't matter how good they look if they can't shut up. In fact, the really good-looking ones who can't shut up are the worst.
Married 3 times. Divorced 3 times. My dog is not allowed to talk in the house, but I do allow him to read quietly.
Classic, I'll be sure NOT to ping the wife on this one!
Yeah, I can relate to this, but (covering head to keep from being hit with handy objects) I AM the wife, it's my beloved Husband who tells me everything, and I have to fight hard to keep from just blanking out...but I do it because I love him, and it's important for him to tell me these things.
When I just can't stand it, I laugh and say "Please Honey I love You, but I can't remember all this." Then kiss and hug him and he Shuts Up.
I know we women do this more than you guys, but I can relate...
”I Wanna Talk About Me”
by Toby Keith
We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk
We talk about your church and your head when it hurts
We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother
About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover
We talk about your friends and the places that you've been
We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin
The polish on your toes and the run in your hose
And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes
You know talking about you makes me smile
But every once in awhile
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me
We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes
your high school team and your moisturizer creme
We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana
We talk about your grandma down in Alabama
We talk about your guys of every shape and size
The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize
We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts
And your medical charts and where you start
You know talking about you makes me grin
But every now and then
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me
You you you you you you you you youyouyouyouyou
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me
She'd better be careful because if she continues unabated a pretend "I don't give a sh_t" can turn into a real one.
ditto
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