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Humorous Similes (Vanity)
2/14/2005 | snardius

Posted on 02/14/2006 9:58:01 AM PST by Snardius

Post your favorite similes. Funny ones preferred. The best will be rewarded with my list of favorite Country/Western song titles...


TOPICS: Humor; The Poetry Branch
KEYWORDS: funny; satire; similes
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To: NerdDad
If I agree that they are cute, are they old enough that I'm gonna stay out of jail?

 

It's funny you should ask: I've been wrestling with the same problem myself.

 

61 posted on 02/15/2006 11:25:07 AM PST by Fintan (Shut up. You're rude and silly. And ugly.)
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To: Snardius

Looks like this thread will go over like a turd in a punchbowl.


62 posted on 02/16/2006 8:39:49 PM PST by InShanghai (I was born on the crest of a wave, and rocked in the cradle of the deep.)
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To: cuz_it_aint_their_money

Colder than a pissant in an Alaskan outhouse.

And for those watching the Olympics:

Faster than a racehorse in an Exlax factory.

Old one from granny:

Didn't know his @$$ from and apple cart.


63 posted on 02/17/2006 9:13:02 AM PST by Karliner ("Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. DDE)
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To: Snardius
"I'm hungry enough to eat the ass end out of a dead skunk!"
Been saying that one a long time before Apollo 13.
"Man, that looks like a cat's ass sewed up with a grapevine."
Means something looks really bad.
My father in law's favorite; "I wouldn't hit a hog in the ass end with it". Meaning something's useless.
"Useless as tits on a boar hog."
Self explanatory
64 posted on 02/18/2006 4:59:23 PM PST by rikkir (My goal this year: Push a Moonbat over the edge by increasing our majorities!!)
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To: MikeinIraq

Gayer than an Easter bonnet full of mockingbirds.


65 posted on 02/18/2006 5:01:40 PM PST by A knight without armor
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To: A knight without armor

Has as much impact as a sparrow's belch in a typhoon...


66 posted on 02/19/2006 8:26:14 AM PST by Snardius (And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
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To: Snardius

This morning I woke up feeling like nine miles of rusty barbed wire.


67 posted on 02/19/2006 8:52:29 AM PST by A knight without armor
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To: NerdDad

how odd, here are some of the best similes ever:

Her laugh was low, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, you know, like, whatever.

It hurt the way it hurts when you accsodently staple you’re toung to the wall.

the lamp just sat there like an inadimate object.

Mcbride fell 12 stories and hit the pavment like a hefty bag or veggie supe.

sorry about my spelling


68 posted on 10/31/2007 6:53:33 PM PDT by Gabberwoky
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To: Snardius

as rich as a gold digger


69 posted on 04/12/2010 9:11:18 PM PDT by VBLOVER565
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