Posted on 12/23/2005 1:46:38 PM PST by Redcitizen
WAYS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF SANTA WERE AMERICAN INDIAN
At bed time, kids would leave RC Cola and frybread for the big guy.
He would wear a red turtleneck to hide his hickeys.
Santa's new moccasins would be made out of Dasher.
There would be a bingo packer under every tree.
His elves would never show up for work on Friday's and sometimes Monday's too.
He would be able to navigate his sleigh by pointing his lips.
His sleigh would need a boost every other state or province.
His outfit would consist of a red flannel ribbon shirt, with matching leggins, moccasins and beaded black belt with matching beaded rimmed hat, all to match his oversized gift bag.
Indian preference hiring would require Hopis and other Pueblo Indians to fit in to those teeny tiny elf outfits.
He'd run around saying "ayyy..." and "shhh...ttt" instead of "ho, ho".
A five pound block of cheese and day-old bread would be under every tree.
According to Indian time, our gifts would arrive in February.
According to the older folks, buffalo chips work in the fireplace too, though not as pleasantly as coal.
No...No...your going about it all wrong.
What you should do is just keep it in the bag that you bought the gift in.
Are we talking Rez Christmas or trailer park Christmas?
ROTFL again. You are just too good. Sure you ain't Navajo? Anyway. I have to leave. I am checking out of the Internet. Have a merry Christmas.
Hmmm....
It could be both (trust me).
My dad has a 67'Charger and I wanna say 68'Camero that he's "going to fix" sitting in the back yard.
Merry Christmas!
I trust you, I've spent many days after college living in a trailer park. I had a neighbor put Christmas lights on a dead IH pickup across the "street" from me.
***At bed time, kids would leave RC Cola and frybread for the big guy. ***
What? No cheap wine or hair spray(Chyenne Champaign)? I love frybread!
***A five pound block of cheese and day-old bread would be under every tree. ***
Some of that good Government cheese! It IS good!
**His outfit would consist of a red flannel ribbon shirt, with matching leggins, moccasins and beaded black belt with matching beaded rimmed hat, all to match his oversized gift bag. ***
Years ago, Brummet Echohawk (Pawnee) told of Christmas at a govt. Indian School in Oklahoma.
The children were told Santa was on the way with gifts for them.
When a fat man in a red suit and beard walked in the door the children fled in terror!
The administrators realized their error and got a "new Santa" in flannel shirt, buckskins, beads and long braided hair, and spoke to them in their language. Gifts were given to the children from a large bag and everyone was happy.
" I was surrounded by happier kids who were all going to get what they wanted for Christmas".
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