Posted on 12/23/2005 1:46:38 PM PST by Redcitizen
WAYS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF SANTA WERE AMERICAN INDIAN
At bed time, kids would leave RC Cola and frybread for the big guy.
He would wear a red turtleneck to hide his hickeys.
Santa's new moccasins would be made out of Dasher.
There would be a bingo packer under every tree.
His elves would never show up for work on Friday's and sometimes Monday's too.
He would be able to navigate his sleigh by pointing his lips.
His sleigh would need a boost every other state or province.
His outfit would consist of a red flannel ribbon shirt, with matching leggins, moccasins and beaded black belt with matching beaded rimmed hat, all to match his oversized gift bag.
Indian preference hiring would require Hopis and other Pueblo Indians to fit in to those teeny tiny elf outfits.
He'd run around saying "ayyy..." and "shhh...ttt" instead of "ho, ho".
A five pound block of cheese and day-old bread would be under every tree.
According to Indian time, our gifts would arrive in February.
Merry Keshmish! Ayyy!
Wouldn't we all get tired of turquoise jewelry?
yeah, instead of coal in your stocking when you're bad , you'd get a buffalo chip.
Who said anything about getting turquoise jewelry? This Santa would give out dead pawn tickets.
The coal is a good gift.It's useable for the fireplace. Buffalo chips are definitely for bad people.
Yah ta Hey! (is that the correct spelling?)
Merry Christmas, Redcitizen.....I wish I was spending it in remote place, in a nice cozy sheepwagon.
In my dreams, I'd ride my horse on over, to spend time and share a bottle with you.
Liz
i can't resist....... and HOW.
You can heat you home with Buffalo chips too, hmmm how about a bag of dirt?
tokens for the slot machine
Hey! How are you. I hope you have a merry Christmas up there in Utah! Don't be a stranger. Write sometime.
As for me, I will be hanging out on the Rez myself.
Take Care.
Dirt goes on the dirt floor of the hogan. What about an empty can of commodity food?
I should call my grandma she always has interesting things to say about Indians, especially since she left the res in the 30's. How about a late government check?
ooohhh! Good one. :)
That would work. Santa could always leave a third notice utility bill too for the bad ones.
How about four vehicles that don't run to decorate the yard.
And tires on the roof too. You're getting the idea.
You guys are killin' me! ROTFL! Being raised in the Rio Grande Valley (Texas) and then in the Four Corners it seems like I was transported back in time--or is this the here and now??
Christmas would have to be around the first of the month as well.
Haha! Now I'm ROTFL
Your gift would come in used wrapping or newspaper.
BTW, I actually made a "Rez" Hallmark gift bag out of a brown paper bag, cut a tree out of green construction paper and glued it on. Then I did the same for a snowman on the other side of the bag, and glued small pieces of coal on to the snow man for a mouth,nose and eyes. I stuck sticks on the side for hands. For handles, I stapled strings onto the sides. Crused newspaper replaced the tissue paper that you normally find in the bag.
So that was my Rez gift bag.
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