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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread **** (Festivus 2005 Edition)
OFST ^ | 12/23/2005 | AllOfUs

Posted on 12/23/2005 5:39:40 AM PST by BJClinton

Happy Festivus Everyone! For those that don't know what Festivus is, here's a source:

Wikipedia

While it was actually invented (like Kwanzaa) in 1966 in a Reader's Digest column it was made popular by an episode of Seinfeld.

The Festivus Dinner you'll have to take care of yourself, but I've provided a festivus Pole:



The feats of strength and airing of grievances will be addressed downthread.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: airingofgrievences; featsofstrength; festivus; ofst; tgif; whostolethepole
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; Dashing Dasher
Ever wonder why they don't let Dash fly the big planes?


141 posted on 12/23/2005 7:51:48 AM PST by r-q-tek86 (Malipayon nga Paskwa ag Mahigugmaon nga Bag-ong Dag-on)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Thanks. I like my Tag Line too!


142 posted on 12/23/2005 7:53:16 AM PST by LiveFreee (Happy Hour is less than 8 hours away)
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To: BJClinton

OK
It's a grievance!

Why can't we get heat here!


143 posted on 12/23/2005 7:53:22 AM PST by najida (I yam wadda yam.)
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To: r-q-tek86; Dashing Dasher

It all makes sense now.


144 posted on 12/23/2005 7:53:35 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: najida

Maybe they are conserving energy?


145 posted on 12/23/2005 7:54:16 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: sure_fine

It's like they say: "If you aren't the lead dog -- the scenery never changes."


146 posted on 12/23/2005 7:56:23 AM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: BJClinton; fatboy

Fellow FReeper fatboy asked me to post this. Enjoy!

For my liberal friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for
the
religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their
choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you
a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006,
but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply
that
America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only
America
in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed,
color,
age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the
wishee.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This
greeting
is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable
with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by
the
wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself
or
others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the
sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year
or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first,
and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

For my conservative friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


147 posted on 12/23/2005 7:57:36 AM PST by baker_girl (You are all winners,except those of you who lose.)
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To: r-q-tek86

148 posted on 12/23/2005 7:57:57 AM PST by CJ Wolf (BTW can someone add 'zot' to the FR spellchecker?)
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To: Lazamataz
I am a very naughty monkey.

Well then...


149 posted on 12/23/2005 7:58:17 AM PST by socal_parrot (Fröliche Weinachten)
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To: BenLurkin
It's like they say: "If you aren't the lead dog -- the scenery never changes."

At least you can see eye-to-eye with those around you, sort of.

Winking would be discouraged. Wink Martin doubly so.

150 posted on 12/23/2005 7:58:57 AM PST by pikachu (That which does not kill me just makes me grumpy!)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

More like just 30 years of bad ductwork and poor planning.

I'm sitting with my feet literally on top of a space heater.


151 posted on 12/23/2005 7:59:48 AM PST by najida (I yam wadda yam.)
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To: Michael Goldsberry
You Were Nice This Year!
You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?
Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

152 posted on 12/23/2005 7:59:49 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: najida

Be careful not to melt your shoes!!


153 posted on 12/23/2005 8:01:21 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: r-q-tek86; Dashing Dasher
Ever wonder why they don't let Dash fly the big planes?

You mean Dash isn't doing the heavies?

154 posted on 12/23/2005 8:01:41 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: BJClinton

Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year to everyone!

You don't have to be a mother to enjoy this one.........

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY... NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER


155 posted on 12/23/2005 8:01:55 AM PST by lilylangtree
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To: BJClinton

We're free from a condemning, condescending thread.

IT'S ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!


156 posted on 12/23/2005 8:03:55 AM PST by sully777 (What Would Brian Boitano Do?)
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To: pikachu; Lazamataz; socal_parrot; r-q-tek86; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Santa is checking everybody twice . . .


157 posted on 12/23/2005 8:04:16 AM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: Lazamataz

Just to let you know, we will celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss (bliss???) in March.

I must have learned something!!!

and BTW, don't like Barbie, not anatomically correct!!! Can't have fun with THAT!!!


158 posted on 12/23/2005 8:06:56 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: reagan_fanatic

Airing of grievances:

What's with people in Tercels driving 20 mph in the fast lane! It's PERVERSE!

Feats of strength:

Watch I raise this drink to my mouth. Try to pull it away, ya wee wanker.


159 posted on 12/23/2005 8:07:29 AM PST by sully777 (What Would Brian Boitano Do?)
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To: Michael Goldsberry
You Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled with Money
You've either been really really good this year...
Or Santa is trying to pay you off!
What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

160 posted on 12/23/2005 8:10:00 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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