Posted on 12/23/2005 5:39:40 AM PST by BJClinton
Happy Festivus Everyone! For those that don't know what Festivus is, here's a source:
Wikipedia
While it was actually invented (like Kwanzaa) in 1966 in a Reader's Digest column it was made popular by an episode of Seinfeld.
The Festivus Dinner you'll have to take care of yourself, but I've provided a festivus Pole:
The feats of strength and airing of grievances will be addressed downthread.
Thanks. I like my Tag Line too!
OK
It's a grievance!
Why can't we get heat here!
It all makes sense now.
Maybe they are conserving energy?
It's like they say: "If you aren't the lead dog -- the scenery never changes."
Fellow FReeper fatboy asked me to post this. Enjoy!
For my liberal friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for
the
religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their
choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you
a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006,
but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply
that
America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only
America
in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed,
color,
age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the
wishee.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This
greeting
is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable
with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by
the
wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself
or
others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the
sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year
or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first,
and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
For my conservative friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Well then...
At least you can see eye-to-eye with those around you, sort of.
Winking would be discouraged. Wink Martin doubly so.
More like just 30 years of bad ductwork and poor planning.
I'm sitting with my feet literally on top of a space heater.
| You Were Nice This Year! |
 You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight? |
Be careful not to melt your shoes!!
You mean Dash isn't doing the heavies?
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year to everyone!
You don't have to be a mother to enjoy this one.........
Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY... NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
We're free from a condemning, condescending thread.
IT'S ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!
Just to let you know, we will celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss (bliss???) in March.
I must have learned something!!!
and BTW, don't like Barbie, not anatomically correct!!! Can't have fun with THAT!!!
Airing of grievances:
What's with people in Tercels driving 20 mph in the fast lane! It's PERVERSE!
Feats of strength:
Watch I raise this drink to my mouth. Try to pull it away, ya wee wanker.
| You Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled with Money |
 Or Santa is trying to pay you off! |
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