Spare the stick and......
I bet TO was spanked.
Whatever. It appears to me that too many parents are sparing the rod these days. Watching teenagers use foul language right in front of the parent(s) has become the norm. And here I am, a full grown adult, and I can't even make my mouth form the words to speak such language in front of my folks.
i was spanked as a child, as was my older sister, as were my parents, and their parents. we all turned out well. my youngest sister as well as my father's youngest sister were the least punished, and subsequently the ones that cannot take care of themselves, and have gotten into the most trouble in life.
my 2 year old is learning that if she does something wrong, she gets one warning, and then a spanking. she is also learning that she does not like them. in the last few days, she has come and apologised a couple times for doing something wrong before i even caught her.
The study was on only 336 mothers and their chilren, none in the U. S. And in those countries where the cocial norm involves physical discipline, the relationship was weaker than in the other countries.
IOW, inadequate research to draw such conclusions from.
As the parent of a 7-year old, I can't imagine ever spanking my kid.
There are so many other ways to negatively reinforce undesirable behavior, that I have never found it necessary to resort to this tactic.
Many Freepers say they were spanked as children, and it didn't do them harm. Maybe so. I'm not in a position to judge.
But I know that I just don't have it in me to hit my child with sufficient force to cause real pain -- which is what would be required for the "punishment" to be effective.
Moreover, what happens during the teen-age years, when the child is old enough, strong enough and angry enough to hit back?
If corporal punishment is the normal means of discipline, I think at some point it must necessarily become counter-productive and lose its effectiveness.
In fact, I think spanking ultimately indicates a parent's failure and lack of control. Instilling momentary fear of physical punishment in a kid over time has to create a long-term lack of respect, mistrust and resentment towards the parent.
And I think that as the child matures, the repercussions of that are not worth the momentary appearance of control a parent may gain by administering a spanking.
Flame away if you must, but I just don't get it.
Retarded people - kids and adults - are effectively disciplined by their counselors while under massive legal threat for any physical punishment.
Same goes for the very old and mentally-gone elderly who become.... "stubborn". But watch the lawyers pounce at any sign of negative re-enforcement, even a light smack.
I'm not against harsh punishment, I just think it should come from your drill instructor - not someone you love.
They say the same thing about rooting out terrorists. It only makes them more angry. Life is hard.
Bull.
Take a pinch of hair by the temple and pull, works better than any slap and stops the hitting.
The feminization of America continues...
CONTORLLED aggression (spanking) without malice teaches children valuable lessons.
1) Yes, Daddy and Mommy ARE in charge
2) Yes, there ARE consequences for my bad behaviour
And - as they grow...
3) Mom and Dad must love me, because they wouldn't let me turn into a little jackass
4) Hey - controlled aggression CAN solve a problem now and then.
5) I better watch my behavior, because there may be someone around who can MAKE me behave.
About #4 - Controlled aggression must, by definition, be appropriately scaled. It ranges from a couple of swats with a wooden spoon causing no physical damage to a child who refuses to behave properly, to a small grouping of shots in the chest, stopping a home invader from killing me and raping my wife. It CAN solve problems. It is NOT always bad.
Just remember ..."This is going to hurt you alot more than it is going to hurt me."
Yes, please don't spank your children for fear that they might actually FEAR discipline and the consequences for behaving badly. Come on...
These studies are SO pathetic. Look around you and see how wonderful children are in today's society/sarc. I mean, do you see how many respect their elders? Do you see how many are mindful of the consequences of bad behaviors and actions? And just how many kids are committing crimes these days? And how many of these kids were spanked?
I disagree with parents who say they don't believe in spanking their children and instead choose to give their children "options". As if.... Sometimes, just yelling NO 10 times with no action behind it, is NOT enough. Why can't people understand this? Children crave discipline. Children also NEED to be shown action and consistency behind the discipline. It's really a shame when parents don't back each other up or they choose to opt out of properly disciplining their children. The punishment should fit the crime.
The option for my kids, is 1 warning and then a spanking on the behind. Don't get me wrong, I don't abuse my child, I never cross that line. But I teach them right or wrong and can avoid the spanking when necessary because they know the consequences if they don't. Their spirit needs to be broken so they know that what they did was wrong and is not acceptable. Then I give them tons of love and affection and make sure they understand on their level the reason for the punishment.
Discpline and love go hand in hand...no pun intended.
Bookmarking
I spanked. As a single mom of three sons, I couldn't let them get the best of me. They are all grown now and all three veterans. They thank me often for their upbringing and say they will raise their children the same way.
Proud Mom of 3 Veterans
Reading the full article makes the glaring bias of this study obvious.
First, the article refers to "spanking and similar forms of discipline" and then lists these forms as "caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking". Tying up a child with a rope and beating and kicking him or her is obviously child abuse, and is a far cry from a controlled, disciplinary spanking. This alone should have the study thrown out, but then the lead researcher reveals her bias in the last sentence.
"Another question is whether physical discipline is appropriate in this day and age, regardless of how accepted it may be," she added.
So, really, she knew the results she wanted beforehand, and she was going to make the data say whatever it needed to say to imply that spanking is wrong and bad.