AP: Spanking children fuels aggression, anxiety

Child Development, November/December 2005 (via Yahoo! news) ^ | 11/21/2005 | Megan Rauscher

[Barney59]

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Children who are spanked when they misbehave are more likely to be anxious and aggressive than children who are disciplined in nonphysical ways, research shows. This is true even if spanking is the "cultural norm."

Whether parents should spank their children or use other forms of physical discipline is controversial. Some experts argue that children should not be spanked when they act out citing evidence that it leads to more, rather than fewer, behavior problems and it could escalate into physical abuse. There are data to support this argument.

Other experts, however, argue that the effects of spanking and physical discipline might depend on the characteristics of the child and family and the circumstances in which it is used.

[najida]

I agree that something has shifted...
maybe 'my' generation is part of it....

After having out of control adults in charge, we all swore we wouldn't do to our kids what was done to us...because not one, not even one of those parents saw what they were doing as the least bit wrong (So why DID 3 out of 4 of your kids attempt suicide grandpa?....Why did all your kids spit on your grave Dad?)

Yes, the pendulum has swung too far.....All I'm saying is I, as the observer I've become, can see the reason why it went in the direction it did.

I simply sit as a reminder of what could happen, even in those are so sure they are right.

[Peepster]

Yes, please don't spank your children for fear that they might actually FEAR discipline and the consequences for behaving badly. Come on...

These studies are SO pathetic. Look around you and see how wonderful children are in today's society/sarc. I mean, do you see how many respect their elders? Do you see how many are mindful of the consequences of bad behaviors and actions? And just how many kids are committing crimes these days? And how many of these kids were spanked?

I disagree with parents who say they don't believe in spanking their children and instead choose to give their children "options". As if.... Sometimes, just yelling NO 10 times with no action behind it, is NOT enough. Why can't people understand this? Children crave discipline. Children also NEED to be shown action and consistency behind the discipline. It's really a shame when parents don't back each other up or they choose to opt out of properly disciplining their children. The punishment should fit the crime.

The option for my kids, is 1 warning and then a spanking on the behind. Don't get me wrong, I don't abuse my child, I never cross that line. But I teach them right or wrong and can avoid the spanking when necessary because they know the consequences if they don't. Their spirit needs to be broken so they know that what they did was wrong and is not acceptable. Then I give them tons of love and affection and make sure they understand on their level the reason for the punishment.

Discpline and love go hand in hand...no pun intended.

[teenyelliott]

Dang najida, I don't really know what to say about that post.

But what I do know is that my children are surrounded with love every day, whether they are in trouble or not. And that is how it should be, regardless of how a parent chooses to discipline.

[teenyelliott]

when she was three. She said she'd never love me anymore because I wouldn't take her to the mall.

That seems a little weird. My five year old doesn't even know what a mall is.

[Peepster]

Moreover, what happens during the teen-age years, when the child is old enough, strong enough and angry enough to hit back?

Speaking of this...my husband tried this very thing with his father when he was 16. He came home late, drunk and all cocky. His dad was waiting up for him and stopped him when he came in.

So my husband challenged him and his dad said he'd let him hit him, just to take his best shot. So my husband did and knocked him square on the chin, sending him to the floor.

Next thing ya know, his dad is having a heart attack and holding his chest in pain. This causes my husband to bend down over his dad, asking if he's alright, freaking out that he is having a heart attack.

Then, his dad punches him square in the nuts, obviously faking the heart attack, and then sending my husband to his room.

My husband learned not to challenge his dad ever again and earned new respect for the man. Not to say that will happen with every teen, but it's just one example.

Consistency and love...that's the key.

[Shyla]

I love it! When my daughter was younger she repeated over and over to my mom (die hard Democrat) - Al Gore is a whining baby!!!! My best friend taught her that.

[Peepster]

I'll have to try that hair pinching thing.

My youngest (2 yrs) has a problem with screaming. Ugh, it's nerve wracking and he won't stop, even if we do spank. Usually a flick to his mouth stops him, for a while, but he hasn't stopped for good, which is our goal. Children should only be screaming if they are in serious pain or trouble.

I'll try that next time, and see if it works any better.

[Peepster]

The things kids are allowed to get away with these days...you can't even blame the kids, it's their pathetic parents that refuse to take responsibility - they want to be their child's friend instead of parent.

Or worse, they don't care about what their children do, and/or they are so wrapped up in their own world, that their kids are on their own basically.

Society needs to stop blaming the kids. It's the PARENTS who are at fault for not doing their job!!!! If you can't take care of a child properly, then you shouldn't have children.

[Maceman]

That seems a little weird. My five year old doesn't even know what a mall is.

My wife works all day Saturdays, and always has. So I have always been alone with my daughter for the whole day into the evening on Saturdays. Actually, around 12 hours at a clip.

As you might imagine, I was always looking for a diversion with her. She has no siblings. She liked the kids' playground at the mall, which is not far from here, and I would always buy her an ice cream there. It became part of our regular weekly ritual. In fact, the day she made that video, I had already taken her there. She wanted to go back, and was mad that I said no.

Fortunately now that she's older, I can line her up with playdates, which makes it a bit easier on both of us.

[RandallFlagg]

Bookmarking

[tx_militarymom]

I spanked. As a single mom of three sons, I couldn't let them get the best of me. They are all grown now and all three veterans. They thank me often for their upbringing and say they will raise their children the same way.

Proud Mom of 3 Veterans

[wolfcreek]

They aggressively sought a place to hide because they were anxious about when Dad was coming home.

[A CA Guy]

It changed behavior in kids quickly.
They do NOT like the hair by the ear pulled. It hurts but doesn't last and they remember.

I was helping my sister out who left me for a while daily with her 4 year old son because I worked out of the home.
I often go to lunch out unless the weather is miserable.

The 4 year old didn't know any better and would just get it in his head to run.
Well, I don't want the kid to just run and get himself ran over by a car, so I had to do something.
Pulling a little pinch of hair by the ear was a great way to go, by the 2nd or third time he learned and I only had to make the motion I was going for the pinch of hair other times and they got the message immediately without having to even pull hair. :-)
Works, they learn fast, nobody gets hurt and you don't have to hit the kids to stop them from doing things that could kill themselves like running in front of moving cars.

[madprof98]

The feminization of America continues...

You hit the nail on the head. In the traditional family, the kid would know that "Just wait til your dad gets home!" meant serious trouble. Daddies could inflict stern discipline, while mommies could soothe bruised feelings. Today, we're all about feelings. Frankly, I don't much care how my daughter feels about it as long as she is doing what she's supposed to do.

[LongElegantLegs]

Classic Lesson: Old age and treachery will win out over youth and strength any day! :-P

[laney]

MY mother never waited for *DAD* raising 3 boys and me we were all afraid of her when she was mad..YEEGADS!

[LonghornFreeper]

Reading the full article makes the glaring bias of this study obvious.

First, the article refers to "spanking and similar forms of discipline" and then lists these forms as "caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking". Tying up a child with a rope and beating and kicking him or her is obviously child abuse, and is a far cry from a controlled, disciplinary spanking. This alone should have the study thrown out, but then the lead researcher reveals her bias in the last sentence.

"Another question is whether physical discipline is appropriate in this day and age, regardless of how accepted it may be," she added.

So, really, she knew the results she wanted beforehand, and she was going to make the data say whatever it needed to say to imply that spanking is wrong and bad.

[WasDougsLamb]

The things kids are allowed to get away with these days...you can't even blame the kids, it's their pathetic parents that refuse to take responsibility - they want to be their child's friend instead of parent.


-----I agree with you 100%. I spank only when I have too. My 5 year old sometimes needs it and I am not sorry I have to do it. I have a 20 year old in college who maintained an A/B average and hardly gave me any problems and she was spanked on occasion. You have to give an equal balance of love and discipline all through growing up in order for any type of parenting to work. Whether it be threats, time outs, or spanking.

[af_vet_rr]

--I agree with you 100%. I spank only when I have too. My 5 year old sometimes needs it and I am not sorry I have to do it. I have a 20 year old in college who maintained an A/B average and hardly gave me any problems and she was spanked on occasion. You have to give an equal balance of love and discipline all through growing up in order for any type of parenting to work. Whether it be threats, time outs, or spanking.

That's it right there - you have to be willing to be a parent to them - they need a parental figure in their lives - they have friends from school, the neighborhood, etc.

There's too many parents that want to be friends to their kids, and they expect their kids to get their guidance from the schools, when the schools are more concerned about whether or not they pass all of these tests (all the "no child left behind" crap).

Colombine is the best example of this - people wanted to blame guns, the school, etc., and you hardly ever heard the media talking about the fact that one of the kids had pieces of a shotgun, gunpowder, and bizarre drawings laying around his room. An alert parent would have caught all of that in a 30 second glance into the room.

Another good example - an elementary school in my city - a child (I think a 5th grader) called a janitor in a lunchroom in front of other people, the N-word. One of the people who overheard it, a teacher, told him to apologize, and he was very beligerant, and she dragged him off to the office (apparently he wouldn't go when she told him to).

The result? People wanted to sue the school, people wanted the teacher to go to jail. Nobody ever asked the question - why would a child think it was okay to call a person a racial slur (although I'm sure it would have been blamed on TV or something like that).

Parts of our society are falling apart - not because of drugs, not by homosexuality, not by Hollywood, but by parents who refuse to be parents.

Unfortunately, it's easier to blame TV, drugs, guns, Hollywood, etc., than it is to blame parents.

[okiecon]

IOW, inadequate research to draw such conclusions from.

This study does not mean jack. This type of stuff has been going on for years. Like going to a hospital in the Ghetto at 3 am on a Wednesday to sample for domestic violence victims. Or asking women to send in a survey asking if they have been sexually abused (self-selecting bias). Etc.