Posted on 10/14/2005 5:56:14 AM PDT by BJClinton
When did I get so old? I mean really, party 'til sunrise was a way of life. Last night we had a little batchelor party for one of the last of my high-school friends to get married. Let's just say this hurts. I'm going to go get some aspirin, water and try to find that phone that just won't stop ringing. Meanwhile, let the silliness commence.
New Element Discovered!
Physicists at the University of Colorado recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
Each Administratium atom is held together by sub-atomic particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
You were right on both accounts.
GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A second's worth of exposure to Governmentium will cause any action to take four hundred times longer to complete, and cost five times as much.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (aka Bureaucratium) - an element which radiates as much energy as the Governmentium, but has half as many peons and twice as many morons.
| You Are 95% Left Brained, 5% Right Brained |
| The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
| You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained |
| The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Always go for the genuine article, never go for those cheap imitations.
You're on a roll today, been saving those all week?
Those came in this morning, mostly.
This week has sucked. I need to laugh. Were it not for my family & fiends, I'd be be locked back up in the nuthouse.
LOL! Good for you.
Hope you're feeling better!
Happy Friday!
You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.
The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.
WOO HOO! TOP 50!
Re: your tagline,,,,mmmmmmmm, peanut butter, have you tried it slathered on apple quarters, mmmmmmmmm!
Wooohooooooooo, it's Friday!!!!!!!
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