Posted on 10/13/2005 7:46:27 AM PDT by StJulian Perlmutter
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
That one isn't so bad, but some of them are. Our Walmarts are in a college town, and they probably get more than their fair share of jerks in the stores. Number 7 and variations of it have been done over and over--and there are even worse variations on #3 that I've heard about.
Probably attitudes like what I see on this thread are why I would never, ever (in a zillion years, even if I were starving) work in the service industry. People are jerks, and they're not only proud of it, but they laugh about it. I'd probably get fired anyway after some customer had to go have several alarm clocks surgically removed...
Well you look good for your age!
Oh my gosh, these made me laugh out loud! Thanks for posting.
"Partner" isn't always shorthand for homo partner, it can also be shorthand for "husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend," which can be a tad clumsy when trying to title a humor thread. I guess the poster could have said "mate."
Um...well in college I actually did a couple of those things...
LOL. Which ones? Not the last, I hope.
Yes, people are jerks, but this remains funny. Imagining, or even acting out practical jokes is one of our funniest types of humor. Ever watched Candid Camera? Same principle.
People are hilarious, even the ones that stomp their feet and exclaim things aren't funny.
I think the poster was just joking. Not advocating actually doing these things. They are kind of funny.
Many years ago, when I worked at Sears, the guys I worked with on the loading dock, were asked to remove a man, ah, playing with something in the mens room.
We just went in, and I said how I hated fags that just played w/themselves, and he ran out.
Didn't even wash his hands!!!
They taste just like chicken.
We can forget that one. I can't remember being asked if I could be helped at Wall-Mart. If they do I will be sure to grab my chest, slump to the floor and gasp "Yeeesssss!"
There's a difference between people just being rude jerks and difficult customers and the suggestion of a practical joke.
If you've got some deep seated things you'd like to say about treating customer service people better, perhaps you'd be better heard if you weren't on a humor thread.
This pokes fun at human reactions to the unexpected, it's not about making life miserable for service workers.
Be careful! I have seen some real sideshow freaks working at the Wal-Mart, and the thought of one of them attempting to give me mouth to mouth, scares me. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU!!
Lighten up - it's a JOKE!!!
More like Fiction.... less like an Autobiography!
Don't forget girl watching.
See here, Miz... Here's a real live condescending jerk you could have gone after.
"I hate WalMart employees."
So did you add it to your list on your profile page yet?
7.1 Set up camp. Borrow drums, guitars, tambourines, etc. from the music department. Hold a Wellstone Funeral, get everybody to sing "Kumbaya".
Yes.
I haven't been to a WalMart in years. But I hear they are building one in my neck of the woods soon.
I'll keep the list handy...
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