Posted on 09/15/2005 12:14:39 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view...
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
Can you get to the INSIDE of where the switches are, and get a "contact cleaner" type spray inside of the switch itself? If so, it MAY help things.
It seems far too many men are afraid to try it. If they ever do get the cajones for it, women everywhere will declare a day of mourning.
I think that would count as an obvious hint.
You don't say much...for a gal.
Refreshing, isn't it?
man ping
That would count as an "obvious hint." :-)
Admit making a mistake? Men? They would rather do almost anything than admit a mistake. Shoot they can't read maps and refuse to stop and ask directions.
Use to date a guy that could be 10 feet from the place he wanted to go and still got lost.
And, I bet you still get lost!!!!
Oh yes, that's another thing - they love to hear themselves talk and expound on any and all subjects, whether or not they know anything about said subject.
Bless their little ol' hearts.
Well, thats because it usually is their fault! Geeze, men!!!!
lol
Well, bless you po' little ol' heart! Got dumped, huh?
I thought I was wrong once before, but I was mistaken.
Ummm, okay. Whatever...
You've been watching the Red Green Show haven't you?
Thanks for the ping.
Of course. It's the only show that truly dives into the versatility of duct tape.
If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
I would not accept any of that crap from a man. Im too easy like sunday Morning and agree with most men and get along and hate to shop.
Even when a woman makes a mistake on her own ?
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