Guys Rules

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[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view...

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

And there ya go!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

PING!

[RockinRight]

Every one of these is 100% true. My biggest peeves with the fairer sex are the mind-reading one and the one about hints not working.

[teenyelliott]

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we

Typical. Chris was looking for India, which is why Indians are called Indians.

I swear, can you guys EVER admit it when you make a mistake????!!!!!

[JimWforBush]

This is funny every time I see it.

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

I swear, can you guys EVER admit it when you make a mistake????!!!!!

Nope. It's just not in our nature.

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Besides, we never make mistakes.
You women just think we do, so you can feel superior. :~D

[ken5050]

They forgot my next-door neighbor's maxim....

"Oral sex isn't really sex..., and a humidor isn't just for cigars"

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

See that? I'll bet teenyelliott will think this was a mistake.
Well it's not! I was just testing her!

See how that works? :~D

[loreldan]

You missed this one.

Don't ever ask me how much I love you. It's a stupid question that has no answer. If I have a problem with you I'll let you know.

[jimtorr]

Typical. Chris was looking for India....

.....and the Carribean islands are still sometimes referred to as the West Indies.......

This is why I, as a guy, own a GPS receiver, several compasses and lots of road maps. I don't want to have to rename Boise, Idaho as Dallas, Texas.

[teenyelliott]

You sure talk a lot, for a guy.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

Yup... that one is one of the big ones that bothers most men.
Even when you enter a new relationship with a woman, she still expects you to read her mind.
That is one thing I don't understand about women, they complain about how they want " To verbally communicate "( talk, talk, and more talk, talk , talk, talk, talk some more, and then more talk , talk , talk ) but ? still they expect you to " READ THEIR MINDS " .

[teenyelliott]

Hey, next time you see Willy, kick him in the knee for me. Really hard.

[LurkedLongEnough]

What about:

I can't make up my mind when you ask me what's more important, sex or duct tape?

[MotleyGirl70]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

The real #1.

GUYS...put the seat down!!!

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

You sure talk a lot, for a guy.

After 21 plus years of marriage, I've learned to get a word in edge wise whenever you can. Cuz once a woman gets to talking, those moments are very rare!

[Prophet in the wilderness]

You got to remember ?
Whenever he makes a mistake, or SHE makes a mistake, it's still HIS FAULT.

Men admit to their mistakes and faults, when women stop blaming their own faults on men, and take personal accountability.

[MotleyGirl70]

1. You have too many shoes.

Never.