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Alexander the Great and his staff meetings
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Posted on 09/06/2005 11:24:49 AM PDT by EveningStar

The armies of Alexander the Great were greatly feared in their day, but there was one problem that they had that almost defeated them. Alexander could not get his people to staff meetings on time. He always held the meetings at 6.00 p.m. each day after the day's battle was done, but frequently his generals either forgot or let the time slip up on them and missed the 6.00 p.m. staff meeting. This angered Alexander very much, to say the least!

So he called in his research team and set up a project to develop a method of determining the time at 6.00 p.m. each day. There were no clocks in those days, at least none that could be carried around. The smallest was a giant water clock "Find a way for my staff to determine the hour of the day, or at least when it gets to be 6.00 p.m.," he said, "Cost is no object."

A study was instituted and, with several brain-storming sessions, his staff came up with the following idea. In a land some distance away, there grew a bush whose berries contained a type of dye that changed colour at 6.00 p.m. each evening. They found that by dyeing strips of cloth and issuing them to the generals, they could see when it was 6.00 p.m. by the colour change, and could consistently get to the 6.00 p.m. meetings on time. Needless to say this pleased Alexander very much.

It was then turned over to his marketing group to come up with a name for this new invention as Alexander saw definite market potential in the strips. "It can be worn on the wrist and can be easily watched for the colour change," said one junior executive. "I therefore propose to call it the Wrist Watch." This name was immediately discarded for being too bland and obvious.

Another man suggested that since it could be worn in the navel and could be observed by just looking down, it should be called the Naval Observatory. This idea was rejected immediately as being too weird and too technical sounding for the general public.

A junior vice-president suggested that since it could be worn around the neck and would insure that you would be informed when it reached 6.00 p.m., it should be called the Six O'Clock Noose, but this was rejected as too threatening.

Finally the senior vice president, who up to now had been silent, spoke and rendered his decision. "We shall call it a time-band, and in honour of the Great Alexander, it shall be known as ... Alexander's Rag Time-band!"


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: alexanderthegreat; history; punsarelowest
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To: EveningStar

ARGHHHH! WHY must you PUN-nish us?


21 posted on 09/06/2005 12:25:51 PM PDT by coldoc
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To: EveningStar

There are three times a person laughs at a joke:

First, when he hears it

Second, when he tells it

And third, when he understands it

Unfortunately, none of those will be happening with this joke.


22 posted on 09/06/2005 12:46:50 PM PDT by savedbygrace ("No Monday morning quarterback has ever led a team to victory" GW Bush)
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To: EveningStar

LOL!


23 posted on 09/06/2005 12:49:10 PM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: savedbygrace

Your response made me laugh, unlike the joke!


24 posted on 09/06/2005 12:49:54 PM PDT by Mount Athos
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To: colorado tanker
He was married, but didn't seem particularly fond of his wife.

Half the guys in my office must be bi-sexual... I feel violated.

25 posted on 09/06/2005 12:51:34 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: EveningStar

The first time I heard that one,I kicked the slats out of my cradle


26 posted on 09/06/2005 1:08:27 PM PDT by Armigerous ( Non permitte illegitimi te carborundum- "Don't let the bastards grind you down")
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To: EveningStar

I'm laughing in spite of myself!!!


27 posted on 09/06/2005 1:29:01 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: EveningStar

Y'know, that's a *LOT* of work for such a pittance of humor.


28 posted on 09/06/2005 1:58:26 PM PDT by BJClinton
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To: Armigerous

First time I heard that I was someone else's chromosomes.


29 posted on 09/06/2005 3:07:33 PM PDT by thoughtomator (Gentlemen may cry, "Peace! Peace!" -- but there is no peace. - Patrick Henry)
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To: ChuxsterS

Great pun PING.


30 posted on 09/06/2005 3:16:34 PM PDT by RepoGirl ("The only ho I'm pimpin' is Sweet Lady Propane." -- Hank Hill)
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To: EveningStar

That's 45 seconds I'll never get back.


31 posted on 09/06/2005 3:22:57 PM PDT by Defiant (Dar al Salaam will exist when the entire world submits to American leadership.)
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To: Armigerous

That's six years older than dirt.

That's older than my grandmother, and she farts dust.


32 posted on 09/06/2005 4:14:49 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: Defiant

:)


33 posted on 09/06/2005 4:16:08 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar; Blurblogger

Not berry funny. It had a "thread" of humor but it sort of dyed out.


34 posted on 09/06/2005 9:12:16 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: E Rocc

Don't be ambaressed...FCOL


35 posted on 09/06/2005 9:22:12 PM PDT by CIDKauf (No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.)
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To: EveningStar

And there is a story the punchline of which is "Alexander's Bag Time Ran."


36 posted on 09/07/2005 10:08:56 AM PDT by Penn_Cajun
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To: blam; FairOpinion; Ernest_at_the_Beach; StayAt HomeMother; 24Karet; 3AngelaD; asp1; ...
Historically speaking, this reminds me of John Wilkes Booth's reported last words.

Just adding this to the GGG catalog, not sending a general distribution.

To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list. Thanks.
Please FREEPMAIL me if you want on or off the
Gods, Graves, Glyphs PING list or GGG weekly digest
-- Archaeology/Anthropology/Ancient Cultures/Artifacts/Antiquities, etc.
Gods, Graves, Glyphs (alpha order)

37 posted on 09/10/2005 5:23:23 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Down with Dhimmicrats! I last updated by FR profile on Sunday, August 14, 2005.)
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To: Larry Lucido; SunkenCiv; EveningStar

Very, very punny. Will go and tell it to a fifth grader I know!

:)


38 posted on 09/10/2005 5:29:51 PM PDT by BlessedByLiberty (Respectfully submitted,)
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To: SunkenCiv

When I read the joke, I thought, "Brevity is the Soul of Wit".


39 posted on 09/11/2005 11:44:07 AM PDT by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: Ciexyz

I'm wit u.


40 posted on 09/11/2005 3:08:07 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Down with Dhimmicrats! I last updated by FR profile on Sunday, August 14, 2005.)
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