Posted on 08/26/2005 6:11:05 AM PDT by BJClinton
w00t! TGIF! A much better week than last but none-the-less, it's Friday and time for a little unwinding before the weekend. Speaking of which, if you're in central TX and have no compassion for your taste-buds, join me at the Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival on Sunday.
The divorcees knife set:
I hate this PC crap. Just when did used cars become "previously owned"?
So long as he isn't like the Santa Dan Akroyd played in Trading Places...or the Santa in A Chrismas Story...see where I'm going with this? :)
Kinky clowns...
For her first Christmas, took my daughter for a picture with Santa at one of the local malls. That was the sourest Santa I ever saw!!!!
Since then, we just take her to the Navy Exchange.
What about Billy Bob Thornton's "Bad Santa"?
Sour? I don't like the sound of that. Perhaps all Santa's should be required to have a backround check and a rentinal scan? Just to put the public at ease...LOL. :)
I would like to thank you for taking out my entire support staff. So it's partially my fault for sending the link...
I actually haven't seen that...heard it was funny.
It was funny. It was bad, but really funny.
Thanks, I'll have to check it out. :)
FRUITCAKES
by Jimmy Buffett
[Chorus:]
Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the cross walk
In the middle of the week
You are viewing lyrics of Fruitcakes by JIMMY BUFFETT from the album Fruitcakes at LyricsAndSongs.COM
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
Paradise - Lost and found
Paradise - take a look around
I was out in California
Where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires and mud slides
They got sushi in the mall
Water bars and Brontosaurs
Chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust
[Chorus]
We lost our Martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship
Has lost it's cone-shaped head
We spent ninety jillion dollars
Tryin' to get a look at Mars
I hear universal laughter
Ringing out among the stars
Fruitcakes in the galaxy
Fruitcakes on the Earth
Strut naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
Religion, religion.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The God's honest truth is it's not that simple
It's the Buddhist in you, it's the pagan in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she?
It's that born again look, it's the wasp and the Jew
Tell me what's goin on, I ain't got a clue
Here come the big ones - Relationships -
We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with'em?
Here we go I'll tell ya
She said you've got to do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightning bug
Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the cross walk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
The future, Captain's log, Star date 2000 and somethin'
We're seven years from the millennium
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy Hal
Now don't look that abstract
So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get Ja lost in the reggae mon
As I walk along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity
Really is the only way
It's a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day
Hahaha! I warned you.
I can see the price sign at the Exxon down the street out my office window. It is like three digital clocks set 10 minutes apart.
True, true
Glad my truck runs on LOL rather than WTF
Arnold.
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