*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***

Right Here ^ | 12/19/2005 | All of Us

[BJClinton]

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[day10]

My pleasure - I am dragging a bit today, too.

A cowboy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We can't serve you if you don't have a tie." The cowboy goes out to his truck to find something to serve as a tie, finds a pair of jumper cables that looks kind of like a bolo tie and decides that'll do. He goes back into the bar and the bartender says, "OK, you can come in. Just don't start anything."

[FAB]

I tied a fishing line to the pencil holder, threaded it behind the desk and tied it to the chair.
Of course as they pulled out the chair the pencils went flying.
Their recourse was a remote fart machine taped to the inside of my desktop.

[The_Victor]

ULA, structured as a 50-50 joint venture, will combine the production, engineering, test and launch operations associated with U.S. government launches of Boeing's Delta and Lockheed's Atlas rockets.

I have a gay, liberal coworker too, who in fact I consider a good friend. He actually claims to be a "Nihilist" and says mankind needs to be wiped from the face of the earth.

The last time we discussed politics, I told him based upon his stated desire to eliminate mankind, he should be voting Republican, since according to the left, that is end result of right-wing policies.

He laughed nervously, and we don't discuss politics anymore.

[E Rocc]

Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!

On AOL you can do a locate on someone and it will show that they are "online". You can do a screen grab and edit the screen to show them in some really bizarre chatroom, and pass it around. >:)

-Eric

[The_Victor]

The gay guy in my office is a hoot. We laugh a lot. I am just careful not to discuss politics around him. He is a lib, like most gay men are!

What a sloppy cut and paste job from my last post. Sheesh!

I have a gay, liberal coworker too, who in fact I consider a good friend. He actually claims to be a "Nihilist" and says mankind needs to be wiped from the face of the earth. The last time we discussed politics, I told him based upon his stated desire to eliminate mankind, he should be voting Republican, since according to the left, that is end result of right-wing policies. He laughed nervously, and we don't discuss politics anymore.

[beyond the sea]

I only wish I had more time to read the words of Barbra Streisand and J. Garofalo. (Barf)

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Way to shut him up!!

[peacebaby]

The CFO's executive desk and two slender drawers on either side of where he sat. Some guys turned the desk around so the drawers were on the outside. We all watched as the CFO sat down and tried to find one of his drawers.

[eyespysomething]

[E Rocc]

Greatest Bar Name Ever

-Eric

[Dead Corpse]

Let's see if we can't get this thread going the wrong way early on.... ;-)

[peacebaby]

Mine would say, "Don't f*** with my meds."

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I was confused, slightly, but being blonde I am used to that. No Worries!!

[day10]

Also,

If they have several shortcuts to programs on their desktop, right click and go to Properties and change what program the shortcut kicks off. For example, change MS Word to start MS Excel, etc.

You can also load up their Startup menu with every program they have installed so that when they boot up everything starts, Word, Excel, etc.

Not that I would know this from experience or anything.....

[Dead Corpse]

[BJClinton]

A coworker left his computer unlocked when he went to lunch, I changed the Windows starts sounds to some sound bites from a porn movie and jacked his volume all the way up. Good stuff.

[eyespysomething]

South Park marathon this weekend.

[day10]

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap... and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast.

The guy is amazed. Everything has been SO incredible. "You know," he says, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

[Izzy Dunne]

Is your boss a psychpath?

Click here to find out.