"Bit me right in the butt-tocks."
Posted on 05/10/2005 7:11:28 AM PDT by dead
A FEMALE university security guard who decided to defecate in a bushy area because toilets were too far, got more than she had bargained for when she was bitten by a snake on her buttocks.
The 29-year-old woman who is employed by a private security company contracted to the National University of Science and Technology in Bulawayo gave out a scream when the snake struck her bottom, alerting her colleagues who rushed to her aid.
A university spokesman said the woman who declines to be named was to blame, charging: "She knows where the toilets are."
According to the Bulawayo Chronicle, the woman chose to relieve herself in the bush because there were no toilets near the main entrance where she was manning the gate.
Recounting her ordeal, she said: "I felt a painful sting and I ran screaming for help towards my colleagues. However, that is all I can remember because when I woke up I found myself in a hospital bed."
Other guards who came to her aid say they saw a snake escaping into the thick bush on an adjacent piece of land to the university and immediately summoned for an ambulence. She was admitted for two nights at the nearby United Bulawayo Hospitals.
Another guard told the Chronicle: “The situation is really pathetic as we are exposed to danger because we are forced to use the bush as a toilet. We have tried to ask the university to build some toilets for us on several occasions, but up to now they have not done anything about it."
Felix Moyo, the university's director of public relations had no sympathy for the guard.
“I heard that there was a female security guard who was bitten by a snake, but I am not sure what she was doing at the time. However, if she was relieving her self in the bushes then that is not the university’s fault as they know where the nearest toilets are if they need to relieve themselves,” he said.
I've had two experiences like that. Once, I was run over by a doe while I was relieving myself in the woods on a camping trip, and the other time I was run over by my Company Commander during field ops.
And no, I was not drinking on either occasion, though that particular Commander was rather "stumbly." :)
He's not beating his dad; he's beating other DADS (at least, that's what the thread title says).
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1400173/posts?page=42#42
'swhy .410 shotguns were invented.
"Bit me right in the butt-tocks."
Remember the Woody Allen movie. Some native with big boobs goes running into a tent of men holding her boob and screaming "snake bite".
That's when you find out who your true friends are!
"Say mate, I just got snake bitten in the bum while taking a dump. Do you think you could suck out the poison? No, wait, come back!"
At least she had the modesty to find a bush. When I was in Djibouti back in the mid 80s, the locals would politely squat down next to a building and proceed to defecate, with no concern whatsoever that they were doing so in public.
One of those instances where "When In Rome..." does NOT apply.
Today is double entendre Tuesday!
Oooh oooh I get to be the first to say...
"What? No pictures?"
Dji-bouti?? No pun intended, right?
No comment.
It wasn't me.
Reminds me of the old Boy Scout skit:
Person bit: "Call the doctor, a snake bit me on the butt"
Friend: "Hello Doc?, my friend got bit on the butt by a snake, what do i do?"
Doc:~~~~cut an X on the bite and suck out the venom~~~~~~
Person bit: "what did the doc say?"
Friend: "Doc says you're gonna die!"
Doctor says "You're gonna die." :)
"...in Africa, everything bites."
--Peter Hathaway Capstick
Top sends
"Doc says you gonna die."
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to relieve himself. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do."
So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?"
The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim."
Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"
Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"
Old joke but someone had to post it.
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