Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smokers' Lounge
Posted on 04/15/2005 10:55:32 AM PDT by Just another Joe
Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smokers' Lounge
Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...
How ya doin (burp)!
It's been a while since the doors opened.
You should have seen it in the early days, lol.
LOL
The little star is a Phillips.
The Robertson is the best screw and screw driver head ever invented.
It looks like this.....
The head of the screw looks like this. It is practically perfect! 
We are not oddballs, just logical. Shopping is stupid and frustrating.
I need to replace a leased car soon, and I dread the whole thing.
You're cute, too!!!!!
Smart move!!!
As one of the alleged hostesses, I'm really lax in my duties....
I hope you're feeling better - I had to lay down earlier, not from a migraine, but a lack of sleep. I've had the little one home from school for 3 days with a stomach virus. As a mom, you understand where I'm coming from.
Shopping actually gets me in trouble.........It seems that anytime I have gone "looking" at cars I wind up with a monthly payment.
Hubby is just as bad - but at least I don't look like the proverbial soccermom anymore - I'm driving a Ford Escort instead of a minivan!!! Hubby went "looking" in October and came home with a 4wheel drive Pickup, so I inheritted the Escort and the minvan went bye-bye!
This place still open?
Thanks!!!!
You don't know how old my old one was.
That reminds me .....
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
You are sure cute!
PA never mentioned you before!
I think I may have been too young to get in === in the early days!
;-)
HICK.....I got me my own.... HICK .... drink.....
Thanks!
I'm firing up a pack all at once,
and suckin' down my own.
It's been a while, Joe!
Speaking of women, I heard a GREAT joke today:
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
And in honor of my wife, who's due in October:
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by four, or whatever her doctor said, times two.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.
Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.
Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
Thank you Gabz. I am feeling better this morning, but had to take a knock out pill last night. I missed most of my shows but slept the headache off. I felt bad about missing this thread though.
And yes, I remember the days of the little one being sick. Now my little one has a little one of her own to worry about. hehe!
I'm glad you're feeling better this morning. I istayed up far too late last night playing a silly game online - but was allowed to sleep in this morning!
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