Posted on 03/23/2005 6:52:10 PM PST by John Robertson
Fat chicks with big hair stand out like an elephant at a flamingo farm.
I didn't know that till I read it here. I read this here, too, in response to someone who was making too fine a point on something: My, my, picking pepper out of flyshit, aren't we?
What are the coolest expressions you know? The greatest folksy putdowns? The wish-I'd'a-said-that comebacks. The most colorful damned American ways of saying things?
Care to share? I would very much like to liven up my smartmouth. Thank you, folks.
And for those of you who got nothin'...please refer back to the title. Just kidding: I heard that on FR too.
Plenty of funny ones here. Some I will be using in the future.
"Pig says huh, pull it's tale it says uh uh." I have no idea what the heck it means...
"Standing there with your finger up your a$$ and your mind in Texas".
A few of my mother's favorites.
"It must be hard to get your mind out of the gutter when the rest of your body is attached"
"IQ~wise: You'd have to jump up to touch bottom!"
"IQ~wise: You'd give a sack of hammers a run for its money."
"Your head is so far up your backside, if you'd f*rt, you'd blow your brains out!"
"The boy was born downhill and has been losing ground ever since"
"If your brains were Dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose!"
Jack.
"You can't argue with an ___hole, you can only wipe it out."
How tall are you boy?
5'6"
I didn't know they stacked sh!t that high!
You're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents
Family Guy rip-off!:p
Shakespearean Insult Generator:
http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html
Expression of amazement, not happy about it:
Well, shit on a stick!
Is this an emotional issue, or a technical issue? Because if it is a technical issue, I can help with that...JFK
"Now he'll have to wait for the bus of thought."
stupid-A dropout from an idiot school.
crazy-ain't got all your dogs barkin'.
This thread is killing me. LOL
A local high school football coach used to start the first summer workout by saying, "I'm glad to see you boys here 'cause I'd rather have my daughter in a whorehouse than my son on a soccer team."
(the difference between sh!t and shinola).
Just another drip from the shallow end of the gene pool.
...Two cans short of a six-pack.
If brains were powder, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
"Hands down, going away, no doubt about it...you are the winner. For now. Others will come to challenge you. I know this"
Who died and made you the Greer?
Thanks for the laughs, Lord knows we need 'em this morning.
Much as I dislike the woman who came up with it (so much I won't name her) and and admire her target, Governor Perry (he always does have Pretty Hair!), here's a cute one:
Not the brightest bulb on the porch.
When my kids were driving me crazy, I used to threaten to take their bodies away from 'em and put 'em in the closet 'till Christmas. It got me a few minutes of quiet, at least the first few times I used it. They were trying to figure out whether I could do it.
Then my daughter figured out that I was so dumb, I was a waste of oxygen.
How you feelin'?
Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
Or snot on glass.
Or, "that guy's slicker than whale $#*%"
Best comeback of the day:
"Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to act like one."
bump
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