Posted on 03/17/2005 10:35:53 AM PST by Rise of South Park Republicans
Back in October, Stephen Stanton wrote a piece for Tech Central Station called, "South Park Republicans." That article got a lot of attention -- including some from me. I've been a "South Park Republican" for a long time and I'm big fan of the show. So in honor of South Park, I've decided to compile a list of my favorite quotes from the program. Do keep in mind that South Park is obscene, controversial, and is oftentimes deliberately offensive. It's not everybody's cup of tea and if you're easily offended, you might even want to skip these quotes. But if you're a South Park fan -- you're going to like what you see. Read and enjoy...
"There's a place called the rainforest; it truly sucks a**. Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast. You say, "Save the rainforest," but what do you know? You've never been to the rainforest before. Getting Gay With Kids is here! To tell you things you might not like to hear. You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells. All you activists can go f*** yourselves! Someday if we work hard, boys and girls, There'll be no more rainforests left in the entire world! Getting Gay With Kids is here! To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah! Getting Gay With Kids is here! Let's knock down the rainforest! What do you say?! It's totally gay! It's totally gay!" -- Song from "Rainforest Schmainforest" by the children's choir called "Getting Gay With Kids"
"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" -- Wendy "Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise." -- Cartman
"The President responded to the situation by saying "Screw those commie b@stards and screw their wussy space station." -- Newscaster
Cartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
Cartman: Well, Kyle, appreciate you being so open with me about this, but as we know, you have a warped perception of reality because you're jewish.
I'm a dolphin, but I'm a lawyer too.
So, your a lawfin?
Cartman: Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.
The Old Cracker / Dead Battery Society a.k.a the Jerry Falwell right
Yeah and what ever happened to Anita Bryant, The Floriduh O.J. Queen????
8^)
Mr. Garrison: Let's start the day with a few new math problems -- what is five times two? Yes. Clyde?
Clyde: Twelve.
Mr. Garrison: Okay. Now let's try and get an answer from somebody who is not a complete retard.
Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
Cartman: I made you eat your parents, I made you eat your parents, I made you eat your parents. (licking on Scott's face) Oh, your tear's are so sweet. Oh, yes. Let me taste them. Such sweet pain.
Cartman: I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about "protectin' the earth" and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!
Cartman: Only three more hours, sea people. Only three more hours and you can take me away from this crappy goddamn planet full of hippies.
Randy Marsh: You see, Token, when a man and a woman really love each other, the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina. It's called 'making love,' and its normal.
Token: And when the woman has 4 penises in her, and then stands above the guys and pees on them, is that love making? Five midgets beating a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that love making?
Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
Doctor: Vaginitis occurs when a person stops eating meat.. Those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas. If we hadn't stopped it in time, Stan would have eventually become one great big giant pussy.
People's Army Leader: You white Americans make me sick! You waste food, oil and everything else because you're so rich, and then you tell the rest of the world to save the rainforest because you like its pretty flowers.
Mr. Garrison: Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL. Evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather--a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains; which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
Hey! Pass the popcorn, dude!
Butters: I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid.
Kyle: Chef, we need Butters to gain about 50 pounds, fast.
Chef: Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.
Stan: Marry him?
Chef: It definitely worked for every woman I've ever met.
That was idiotic enough to qualify as a DU posting.
Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddaam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I goiong to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
TIMAH!
Rob Reiner: Sometimes lying is okay, like when you know what's good for people more than they do.
LMAO!!
Stan: One day you're gonna have to stop running and deal with what happened. Otherwise, you might as well just move to France with all the other pussies.
Kyle: Dude! This is pretty f****d up right here!
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