Posted on 10/28/2004 6:43:59 PM PDT by Sonar5
Hi all,
I need some help and I am fuming about this. Today an incident happened at my son's school that concerns me greatly.
He is in 4th Grade and is age nine. One of his friends brought a small pocket knife to school and allegedly showed it to my son and others at their lunch table. Apparently he did not open the blade, and quickly put it away. No one was threatened. They are all friends in scouts, church, or sports.
One of the other children after lunch, not mine, told a teacher about it. I get a phone call at about 1:15 stating my son was involved in an incident at school. I ask first is he ok, the administrator says yes.
She then explains that my son and others failed to tell an adult or teacher they saw someone else with a knife at school and that she questioned my son. I asked if he was threatened, and she replied no.
She stated the student who brought it would probably be expelled. I thought that was the end of it, since my son didn't bring the knife, no one was threatened, and my son, nor anyone else held it, nor was the blade even shown.
First off, these are 9 year olds. And I'm ok with the kid that told, and whatever happens to the kid that brought it happens. My son didn't feel it was serious.
My concern is the treatment of my son as having done something wrong.
My son got home about 3:40 or so, and I immediately asked him what happened, who was involved, was he threatened, did he or anyone else hold it, etc....
He then told me he was interrogated without my knowledge inside a closed room with only him and the administrator and talked to about what he did wrong by not telling an adult, asked questions, and the administrator was writing down the responses. Two other children who did not say anything were also subjected to this interrogation, seperately.
He and the two others were then pulled out of class before recess and during recess were taken to the office where they, without my knowledge were coerced into writing false statements stating they made bad choices by not telling an adult, and one other example of making a bad choice.
All three were told if they did not bring the form signed by a parent tomorrow, they would miss recess.
So, now my son is made out to have done something wrong. By the way, the administrator signed the form at the top.
My son was never advised of his rights to call us, and have us present, was never advised why he had to write the form, and we were never notified of the form until our son arrived home.
My son is in Scouting and considers a knife a tool, and knows the difference between showing something and getting threatened. He has also been trained in the proper use of a knife, a safety circle, etc... He knew what the student did was wrong, and he knew not to bring those types of items to school.
So what would you do.
We are not signing the form, and I talked to him about his rights, and the fact he did nothing wrong, the student who told did nothing wrong, the only one who did something wrong was the student who brought it, and the way he was treated.
I then went into explaining his rights to him, and about no longer answering any questions without us present.
So put yourself in my shoes, and ask what you would do. I felt the initial incident was no big deal, neither did my son at first. Now I feel my son and we as parents were violated in our rights, as well as our sons.
BTW - I tried calling the administrator who called earlier, and tried to tell her we were not returning the form, and we feel he shouldn't have to miss recess, and be punished, and she replied she didn't like my tone, and then stated the conversation is over, and hung up on me. Nice, huh?
Any help would be appreciated.
Regards, Sonar5
Have you considered home schooling your child? If not, you should. I wouldn't send the child of my worst enemy to public school any more.
/john
Sonar, I'd get an attorney, and keep your boy OUT of school for the time being.
When my son was younger he got suspended for poking a kid with a pen. They said it was a weapon. When he was in High School he slapped a girl he knew in the butt and told her to get to class. The teacher told her to file sexual harrassment charges. They called the cops, suspended him, called me in and her father. When we talked to the father and told him the kids were friends from grade school he went to the dean said I'm outta here these kids are friends and left. This is how schools are these days, sorry to say.
Write down what you told your son and send it to the administrator...parents actually have alot more right with their kids than the school wants you to know. Tell them that if you don't get a satisfactory answer maybe they will give your attorney one.
Check this site: Home School Legal Defense Association
You do not have to homeschool to join it or to ask for advice.
I am fuming! I would say if you can afford it get an attorney, and fight these lowlife socialists. Please tell your son that he did NOTHING wrong. This is beyond the pale.
Is there a state law giving you the right to be present when your child is questioned by a school administrator? Is there a state law giving the child a right to call a parent?
If the answer to either of these is yes, you might have a legitimate complaint.
And finally, what was the false statement on the form?
As far as you son is concerned, I would drop it. The school has over reacted about an innocent incedent, don't make it worse (unless they initiate aciton against your son, then I say go to the School Board and raise cane).
Tell them you have a written statement from your son stating the administrator touch his pee-pee when they were alone. It would serve them right for not having a witness in the room.
First off, since the teacher hung up, call the principal. If that person is the same way.. call and write letters to the School Board, School Superintendant and then ask your lawyer if the situation isn't ended to your satisfaction.
www.concordialutheran.net
Before clicking on this, I just KNEW the homeschoolers would be here, beating you over the head with it.
I'm all for homeschoolers having the freedom to educate their children as they see fit, but honestly:
How is advocating that going to help you RIGHT NOW?
Consider this my BTTT.
< /rant>
What part of the statement is false?
Your son saw the other boy with a pocket knife and didnt report it, right?
You might quibble with whether or not that was wrong. However, a difference opinion is wrong.
And, yes, your son might have known that knifes are tools, and be aware of proper knife safety, but that doesn't mean it is or isn't against the rules to have one in school.
When I started this story, I fully expected to read that your son was the victim of some sort of overkill "zero tolerance" policy. However, it seems like all he had to do was explain what happened, in writing, and apologize. Hardly draconian.
And, as far as your rights go, do you really want a situation where teachers and students can't discipline kids without calling in a parent? Again, had the student been charged criminally, or given a suspension, I could possibly see the need to call you in. However, for what, again, amounted to a "talking to," I just don't see the point.
Maybe it's the way you wrote this, but I just don't see a big deal here.
Speaking as a parent and not a lawyer, I would do exactly what you are doing and nothing more. I might include a short note explaining why I will not sign. If your son misses his play period it will be unjust. However, this will be one small lesson about how the world really works.
PLEASE tell me you are joking.
I feel sorry for your son and your family but as others have said it is a different world than it was when we were children. I have seen this type of thing take place at my children's school and it took place in much the same way. They are guilty until proven innocent these days.
When my daughter was in junior high, they gave the kids a psychological exam (without my knowledge), and based on the results, pulled certain kids into "counseling" where they interrogated the kids about their home lives. (She was already in private counseling for a traumatic experience, and we certainly didn't need the school to interfere!)
When she told me about it, I went to the school and raised cain. Then I pulled my daughter out of that school district, but the next one was just as bad, so I home-schooled her until I was able to move to another state! (We moved to TX.) The schools were much better in Texas, so she did 11th and 12th grade in the public school.
Public schools are essentially a mess and getting worse every year. I'd do home schooling again in a heartbeat. She learned much more from me than she did from the school.
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