Posted on 10/18/2004 7:57:08 PM PDT by yule56
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You are an ArtIst of the 1st order!
Thanks -- do I need to credit you? Eventually your name will be lost in the milleu anyway but I figure it would make you happy to do so for awhile.
Good thing you have an easy FRname.
This was posted to the alt.comedy.firegn-thtre newsgroup shortly after the World Trade Center bombing in response to a nasty troll insinuating that the US had perpetrated this atrocity itself as an excuse to bomb the mideast. It was originally composed by Guy Macon (guymacon@deltanet.com) and posted to a newsgroup in response to a similarly ignorant statement.
The history is given here: http://www.jerrypournelle.com/reports/special/flame.html
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I’ll bet you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, and a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Insensate, blinking calves, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, and a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane.
You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are Trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away all of what you wrote, because, well... it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a coherent statement was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a patch of paranoia among a load of babbling was hardly effective...
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometime forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
All her bases are unknown.
I graduated from high school before I didn't graduate from high school.
Thanks for sharing. Now if you'll tell us what the hell you're talking about, maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to respond to you.
But since we don't know what you're talking about....
'Nuff said.
Just damn.
If you want on the list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
I thought high school was a place for people to learn about calculus and to read books like Where the Red Fern Grows and to play volleyball in the gym on rainy days and touch football on sunny days. I thought high school was where you learned about chemistry. I thought church and home were starting places for people to be grounded in their faith.
Mackris, if she has tapes, will be the instigator of the phone sex, and she'll reveal herself to be a two-bit phone-talking whore.
O'Reilly may be a dog, but Mackris is a ball-buster, who saw a way to set herself up for life.
And she ain't that hot. Woof!
Yeah. The word, "Extortion," changes everything, doesn't it?
Nope.......not unless you were intimate. Then, we'd want all the dish.
Hmmm...... No. If you'll look at the bottom of my post you'll see that credit goes to FReeper Firehat. He's been a member here since 1997.
To the best of my understanding he originally posted it sometime back in 1998.
(Your version is also very good though.)
Thank you, yule. That was a good first post.
A woman has a right to work unharassed and unbothered by predatory male slobs who happen to be bosses.
Then you better get the moose out of the shower before it's all gone. That could be a hugh problem.
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I'll use my left-handed football bat.
Was she somebody's sister?
Would you have even bothered registering and creating this thread if someone hadn't said something about your high school?
FR probably isn't the place for you. We try to be serious about our analysis. You aren't up to us yet.
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