Nude man caught covered in nacho cheese

Maryville Daily Times ^ | 2004-07-19 | Lance Coleman

[presidio9]

A Maryville man spent his 23rd birthday in custody after police said they found him early Sunday running nude from the John Sevier pool snack bar with a box of stolen snacks.

Authorities said the man had apparently scaled an 8-foot tall fence while naked and covered in nacho cheese and was seen running toward a Jeep in which officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka.

According to Maryville police, Michael P. Monn, born July 18, 1981, of McCall Road, Maryville, was arrested by officer Scott Spicer at 5 a.m. Sunday in the parking lot of the pool at John Sevier School, Sequoyah Avenue. Monn was charged with burglary, theft of property less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication. He was also cited with indecent exposure. Monn was held at the Blount County Jail in lieu of $9,300 bond pending a 9 a.m. Aug. 3 General Sessions Court hearing.

Spicer reported at 3:38 a.m. Sunday he saw a Jeep CJ-7 in the parking lot of the pool and saw an open bottle of vodka in the console along with various articles of clothing. Minutes later, a nude man carrying a cardboard box ran toward the Jeep before Spicer stopped him and found the box filled with Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese.

``In addition, the male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders,'' Spicer reported. ``The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent.''

An official with Maryville Alcoa Blount County Parks and Recreation was called to the scene and together with police, they searched the facility. They found someone had climbed an 8 foot fence, broke into the snack bar through a window, ransacked the facility, left the freezer door open and caused $100 damage by ripping the water heater from the wall, according to a report.

Authorities reported someone also defecated in a garbage can, threw nacho cheese on the exterior wall of the snack bar and scattered chips on the ground outside the facility. About $40 in chips and $7 in nacho cheese were stolen from the snack bar, police said.

[pageonetoo]

Kraft Profit Down on Cheese Costs

Headline on another post!

[AmericanChef]

I'd sure hate to have to wash Cheez Whiz out of all those nooks and crannies...

[rhombus]

Authorities said the man had apparently scaled an 8-foot tall fence while naked and covered in nacho cheese and was seen running toward a Jeep in which officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka.

Yet another nacho cheese related crime. When, oh when will the madness end? And you crazy libertarians want to legalize nacho cheese... Are you nuts? Just look at the damage it's done to people's lives.

[reagan_fanatic]

Covered in cheese? This is series!

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Where was his moose?

[Darksheare]

Nacho, Nacho man!
He wants to be, a Nacho man!

[TomGuy]

...found clothing and an open bottle of vodka

Probably more accurate: a nearly empty bottle of vodka

Spicer reported. ``The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent.''

hmmmm....strong odor of alcohol and semi-incoherent. Maybe too much mouthwash?

[VoiceOfBruck]

...while naked and covered in nacho cheese...

Make up your mind!

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

Apparently, the cheese was stolen. One of the arresting officers, an African-American, was heard to exclaim:
"Yo, brother! That's Nacho cheese."

[TomGuy]

That begs for a Registered graphic..........Naked Nacho Man

[End Times Sentinel]

What a weirdo.  I mean, around here, the naked cheese run is a right of passage, but vodka?  If you're not smashed on bourbon, it just doesn't count.

 

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

[Darksheare]

For some reason the mental image is extremely humorous.
And no, none of my horrific dates ever ended with me running while ocvered in cheese.

[InvisibleChurch]

he's not really nude if he's covered (even in cheese), now is he?

[azhenfud]

Nude Man (Cheese) Whizzes By

[mattdono]

How did he get himself under this contraption?

[Cultural Jihad]

See what happens when we totally ignore this epic invasion of titanic illegal aliens?! They steal our cheese, for gosh sakes! When will we stop this tectonic invasion of galactic people?! . . . What? His name wasn't Hispanic-sounding? . . .

Nevermind!

[Conspiracy Guy]

What! No bunny with a pancake on it's head?

[BenLurkin]

Nacho, nacho man
I gotta be a nacho man
Nacho nacho man
I gotta be a nacho man

Nacho, nacho man
I gotta be a nacho man
Nacho nacho man

[gathersnomoss]

Seems that this perp touched all of the bases here. What a wack job.