Dems Assail ICE Detaining 5-Year Old [semi-satire]

Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) assailed ICE for detaining a 5-year-old child, saying "Minnesotans want safety. They want freedom. They want what's best for our kids. Masked agents snatching preschoolers off the street and sending them to Texas detention centers serves none of those purposes."

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) echoed Walz, claiming "the detention of a child proves that ICE's assertion they are seeking the worst of the worst immigrants is a lie."

Former Democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, fresh from being held in contempt by a bipartisan vote in the US House of Representatives Oversight and Government Reform Committee for refusing to testify about Jeffrey Epstein's trafficking of under-age girls, criticized ICE, asserting that "enforcing the law is one thing. Terrorizing a population, using children as pawns, is another."

White House spokeswoman Abigail Jackson condemned "this fake narrative. ICE officers had an arrest warrant for Adrian Alexander Conejo Arias, an illegal alien from Ecuador and the little boy's father. When they approached their target, he ran away leaving his son behind. One officer stayed with the child while the others pursued his father. The child's mother refused to accept custody of her son. When his father was caught he insisted that his son accompany him to detention in Texas while they awaited deportation."

Walz argued that "this whole incident could've been avoided if ICE hadn't invaded our sanctuary state. We don't know or care why ICE wants to deport him. We just want to be left alone to resume the mutual forgive and forget approach that has allowed the strong and prosperous interaction between our state and our immigrants to thrive under my administration. Many Somalis established successful daycare businesses. Eighty percent of Somali immigrants in our state have successfully acquired federal welfare benefits. These successes are all in danger of being lost unless ICE is driven out of our state."

Jackson pointed out that "Walz's 'strong and prosperous interaction' with illegal immigrants is currently under investigation for widespread fraud. Billions of dollars have been stolen during this interaction. Walz may end up wishing he was eligible for deportation instead of going to prison."

In related news, the US House passed a Department of Homeland Security (DHS) funding bill 220 for (including seven Democrats) to 207 opposed (including one Republican). House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) boasted "we allowed some of our vulnerable members to appear to be normal by agreeing to fund ICE so they can be reelected to their seats. I'm confident that our colleagues in the Senate will filibuster this legislation and leave DHS unfunded unless money for ICE enforcement is taken out of it. If the filibuster isn't broken DHS will be the only Department left out of the budget. Ending ICE enforcement would be the Trump Administration's only sensible option."

Illegal is the subject of a warrant and gets stopped by agents.
Step 2: 5 year old child is allowed to wander the streets on their own. How can that be a good thing?

Another:

Mom is caught making a drug deal with a promise to her dealer to sell enough to support her own addiction. Takes her young child with her on the streets. Gets caught on the first sell. Her child then should go in the police car and then into the city holding cell and then into the eventual women’s prison with her.

Neither makes sense.

3 posted on 01/23/2026 10:24:48 PM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )

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