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Minneapolis Protest Turns Deadly [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 January 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/09/2026 5:55:09 PM PST by John Semmens

In Minneapolis a woman trying to resist ICE law-enforcement activity ended up being shot to death. Renee Good used her car to block traffic in both directions of a street in the enforcement zone. ICE agents made several attempts to get her to exit her car so she could be arrested for obstruction. Her wife Rebecca Brown Good exited the vehicle. As Rebecca yelled "drive baby, drive," Renee put her foot on the gas pedal. The car lurched forward toward an ICE officer. He fired his pistol at the driver. The car veered past and sideswiped him rather than hitting him head-on. Renee died of her wounds.

Mayor Jacob Frey (D) demanded that ICE "get the F*** of of this city. We do not want you here. Your stated reason for being in this city is to create some kind of safety, and you are doing exactly the opposite. If you weren't here no one would've died trying to resist you."

Gov. Tim Walz called for calm and threatened to "call up the Minnesota National Guard. We're ready to go to war with the federal government if that's what it takes to repel this ICE invasion. We see that ICE is real brave confronting unarmed civilians. Let's see how they do against armed troops."

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) said "what we saw is a murder, and murders in cold blood need to be prosecuted. It was nothing like the heroic shooting of Ashli Babbit by US Capitol Police Lieutenant Michael Byrd during the January 6, 2021 Trump instigated insurrection. Byrd was awarded a medal for that. The ICE officer who shot Ms. Good will never get a medal for his deadly deed."

Rep. Ro Khanna (D-Calif) said "we cannot have a lawless agency continue in this country the way they are. There needs to be accountability."

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) condemned ICE's actions as "unconscionable and reprehensible. This is not law enforcement. It is state violence. It is simply indefensible, and ICE must be held accountable. That must include a full, comprehensive investigation and legal action against the agency."

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kristi Noem had a different interpretation of the incident, saying "Gov. Walz and Mayor Frey's assertion that this city is safe isn't accurate. Homicides are up 50% since Walz and Frey took office. Walz oversaw the release of 470 violent criminals back onto the street. He refuses to hand over 680 illegal alien criminals for deportation. That's why we are here in force. It's clear that the individual who was shot was harassing and impeding law enforcement operations."

"We've seen over 100 instances of vehicles being used to ram ICE vehicles and officers in just this past year," Noem added. "In fact, the officer involved in today's shooting was dragged a hundred yards by a 'protester's' vehicle last June and had to be hospitalized. This time his injury was less serious. He was treated at a hospital and released. Look, protests with words and signs are protected freedom of speech. But Ms. Good had been stalking ICE officers for hours before this final confrontation. Blocking traffic to interfere with law-enforcement is a felony. She was given multiple opportunities to comply with the officers' instruction to get out of her vehicle. It was her refusal and subsequent aggressive act that led to this tragic outcome."

Walz challenged Noem's reasoning saying "ICE has no expertise in preventing or investigating homicides. All they did here was increase the death tally by one. Neither does ICE have any expertise in dealing with fraud, which has seen the largest surge of any category of crime in our state in American history. Now that I've become aware of the fraud I have canceled my run for a third term so I can devote my full-time effort on combating and punishung this fraud."

US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent asserted that "with regard to this fraud we will NOT let the incompetence and recalcitrance of Governor Walz stop law enforcement from holding the fraudsters accountable. We are providing training to Minnesota law enforcement on how to utilize financial data such as suspicious activity reports to better combat these fraud schemes. We will deploy all tools to bring an end to this egregious, unchecked fraud and hold perpetrators to account. Considering how many Minnesota government employees have provided evidence that Governor Walz enabled and protected the fraudsters he should expect to be prosecuted and go to prison for his role."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: aoc; assault; attemptedmurder; deathbystupidity; frey; ice; jan2026darwinaward; noem; omar; presidentofsomalia; reneechosepoorly; satire; walz

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1 posted on 01/09/2026 5:55:09 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/09/2026 5:57:28 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Why aren’t the Sammys out there trying to kill the Feds? Too Shickenchit?


3 posted on 01/09/2026 6:03:45 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Run your Honda dinghy into ICE and you face the same consequences as the Titanic.)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

“ Why aren’t the Sammys out there trying to kill the Feds? Too Shickenchit?”

They do have an average IQ that’s below room temperature, they may not be smart enough.


4 posted on 01/09/2026 6:13:44 PM PST by wjcsux (On 3/14/1883 Karl Marx gave humanity his best gift, he died. )
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To: FlingWingFlyer

Why should they bother? They have their politicians, liberal white women and cuck male slaves to do the job. The ICE guy has already been fully doxxed on X and elsewhere so it’s a matter of time before one of them does something stupid.


5 posted on 01/09/2026 6:42:31 PM PST by mikey_hates_everything
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To: mikey_hates_everything

They have their politicians

Indeed the democrat party has NOTHING to run on in the midterms TDS is they last stand they have to dodge all their corruption and assorted crines.

MEDIA APPROVED


6 posted on 01/10/2026 7:06:37 AM PST by Vaduz (?.)
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To: John Semmens

…All instigated by the left to keep the Minnesota Grift going.


7 posted on 01/10/2026 7:39:33 AM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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