Posted on 01/09/2026 5:42:15 AM PST by Eleutheria5
Dr. Oz, the senior government health official, wants Americans to stop drinking alcohol for breakfast. With all due respect, man, maybe next week.
2026 has barely gotten out of bed, and it’s already too sloshed to drive. We’re all just trying to keep up. If you’re not already drunk by the time you read this—what are you even doing? You’re clearly not spending enough time on social media. Stop playing with your kids or pretending to work, go inside, pour yourself a pint of cheap gin, and scroll until you’re too angry or depressed to get off the toilet. The world’s problems aren’t going to solve themselves. We need you on the front lines.
Let’s start with the good news: Americans are coming together to denounce the unfortunate yet justified execution-style murder of an innocent agitator who accidentally made the poor decision of trying to vehicularly manslaughter a heartless law-abiding ICE agent who feared for his life in Minneapolis, of all places. Schools are canceled today due to “safety concerns.” What’s the worst that could happen?
Even better news: American special forces apprehended Nicolás Maduro on the sixth anniversary of the drone strike that killed Iranian terror boss Qassem Soleimani, may he rest in pieces. Liberals were outraged, for obvious reasons. They scolded Venezuelan refugees for celebrating. They mourned the Cuban mercenaries who died defending a dictator. They published one of the most amusing fact-checks we’ve ever seen.
What they’re saying: “It looks weak,” a Democrat told Axios while refusing to go on the record for fear of being branded an anti-communist. We’re curious to know if this anonymous Democrat joined his colleagues to commemorate the Jan. 6 Capitol tour by singing “God Bless America” at a candlelight vigil. That was awesome.
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(Excerpt) Read more at freebeacon.substack.com ...
Naked woman allegedly assaults deputy while intoxicated, claims she was ‘trying to be a mermaid’
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant suggestion
Greenland!
.
What’s It’s ZIP CODE?
Who are the other six?
😎😆
That’s how wars were ended in the old days. Interesting how fast they could “make up” after wars back then.
Barron just looks effing smart. 😂😂😂
Naked woman allegedly assaults deputy while intoxicated, claims she was ‘trying to be a mermaid’
She wants to be a mermaid?
Well, from the pics you have to admit that she kind of looks like a fish so she is already half way there.
The Kyrie elision or the Christe elision?
CC
She could have been on a float for Mardi Gras. Now she’ll be in the clink.
The Greenland Zip Code will be in sequence with the zip codes of the five new Wexit territories that were formerly Canadian Provence’s.
But 99970 for Wexit territories and, 99980 for Greenland is a good bet
The dots demarking that part of the text is left out due to 300 word limit. I don’t know no other elision.
You’ll have to ask Tucker Carlson for the answer on that one
It was a play on words. “Kyrie Eleison” is a Christian prayer, spoken or sung in Greek.
CC
That was before nuclear bombs, napalm, poison gas and all that. Hard to just make it up with a shiduch after 4 years of bitter trench warfare, a pandemic, and destruction of a whole generation of young men, and after America stepped in it, too.
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