Basically the parents sold their house and planned to be day trippers, but got tired and tried to stay with their daughter. Which was OK in the short term but the parents then asked for years and she said no.
As a retired boomer I am trying my best not to over burden my wife and daughter. So my plan is to move to Thailand and when I need caregivers my wife is to hire some full time (young and pretty) nurses to care for me, should cost less than $2K a month.
Rightly, or wrongly, Boomers have a reputation for being selfish. The “Me Decade” was their time, after all. Not all Boomers were selfish, of course. Some were literally self-sacrificing. But this story seems to involve Boomers who just wanted to live it up and travel the world, and expected their kids to pick up the pieces when it all fell apart for the oldsters. Feeds right into the stereotype.
As much as I’ve done for my kids, they better not even blink if I ever come to them for help. They are both doing very well, and will continue to do so long after I’m gone. I made sure of it.
If a boomer sells their home they’re idiots. Home values have tripled in 20 years. They cannot get the house back, they are homeless. Any boomer who put their kids into day care at six weeks should prepare for the same in their older years from their families. Period
That aside, prepare for the economy. We boomers need to help Trump fix the $40 triillion debt we oversaw. No day tripping. The generations behind us deserve more
I think your wife should be free to hire some young trans nurses for you in your old age.
I .oved out at 16. I would go bat crap crazy if my.mother moved in with me. After a two hour visit I am exhausted. And her addiction to daytime MSNBC and The Spew I would rather live in a cardboard box behind the grocery store than with my mother again.
I would expect more than 23% of Americans to find anything stressful.
Woman shouldn’t have to live with her parents if they’ve had a bad relationship, but I would think their social security and her resources could lead to a situation where both could have their privacy?
What the oldsters are doing is analogous to a youngster borrowing $250,000 and partying for four years at a “college.”
Remove Thailand off the list after you find the YT video on why ex-pats lose everything when they try to retire there. The comments by other expats confirm it. It’s a set up.
Consider Belize.
Be nice to your children as they select your nursing home.
And at the same time they are hording all the wealth and homes and need to have it forcefully taken from them.
It is like them keeping all the good jurbs but when they retire people whine about them not staying and helping to keep things running.
Society is schizophrenic when it comes to Boomers.
The only thing it agrees on is they are the cause of all problems in the world. Even the ones that happened before they were born.
I’m thinking of going on a world volcano tour.
Wherever I run out of money (which shouldn’t take too long) that’s where I’ll throw myself in.
Why didn’t the parents downsize into a smaller house and spend some of the extra money instead of blowing it all?
This would never even be a question in Hispanic families.
The "story" is an anonymous pile of fiction from "FAKEDIT" your one stop shopping for fantasies from people suffering from MCS.
I am sorry I gave it any consideration at all.
“ If a boomer sells their home …”
I was responding to the beginning of the article, repeating the language
I am a boomer. Trump is a Boomer. The economy needs to get fixed. Every generation needs to see that and do their part. Pointing the finger is not part of fixing it
Retiring people right now happen to be boomers
One silly notion of retiring people is expecting their family to help them with their plan
There is life insurance, that cast way less whe one takes it out in their 20s and 30s when starting a family.
Theres paying off a mortgage and or hanging on to the house. Theres setting up trusts. There’s taking care of one’s health
Having a good savings. Budget and prep for inflation
Retirement advisors
If living with one’s children is the plan what do the children think of that. Does one tell them to put in an in law suite? Or is there relationship building, reciprocity, non interference, levity, no whining?
Has there been a nurturing relationship, where the parents assisted in all ways expected, school and career? Health?
Above someone mentions Hispanic families.
I’m from a different cultural background. Our elders came to the house a few times a year. Grandmother one or two holidays. They were non intrusive, pleasant, intelligent and kind. They brought presents and food and never got into any mood of having expectations. Some lived to 100. The women had been financially set up for by their husbands. Never had to move out of their homes. And were well cared for by their visiting children and grandchildren even nieces.
When they died there was no expectation of inheritance except by a couple of outliers.
Does that make us worse than Hispanics?
When we visit with family we enjoy our time together. I don’t see anything wrong with that or with managing one’s own retirement. Especially in the context of this account with someone getting rid of their home by choice without consulting the family whom they expect to foot the bill with no input
My daughter says she wants me to move in with her so I don’t have to go to nursing home. That is until I said I want her bedroom
I’m getting up there in years.
My wife was a certified Nurses aide,
but we are the same age.
I am not, nor will my wife, is ever going
to be a burden on our daughter and
her family.
She may have to sign a few papers
and that is it.
Kids don’t get to pick their parents,
so parents cannot demand certain things.
Parents are providers, not burdens.
It is expected they help with small things like driving mom to the doctor, or pushing dad through a store in his wheel chair.
But kids are not your future nursing home!
That is your problem! Hopefully they
come to visit you.
I have a “do not revive” notice on my Drivers license.
I’d rather see God than waste away in a bed in a nursing home.
nope. her parents sound foolish and that is a huge imposition, to even ask!!!
I’m in a situation as an only child that I would prefer to not be in. My husband and I agreed to allow my mom to live with us. The plan is for my mom to sell her home, which is paid off, and use a portion of the money from the sale to pay for a good sized addition on our home for her. I would prefer she not live with us, but the thought of her in a nursing home is even less appealing. My recent experience though, that has severely put me off, is being expected by her to make trips to her current home to help her get it emptied out of excess stuff she has “collected” and cleaned up in order to sell it. When I said I would not do that because it would be too disruptive to my own home and schedule (I work, we homeschool, etc), she told me that basically I owed her because she would be putting so much money into the addition on my home for her to live in and we would financially benefit from it. She thinks nothing of it; I am having a hard time looking past it.
How is she supposed to "date" with her parents in the next room for 2+ years?
-PJ