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Mamdani Lays Out Agenda for NYC [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 July 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/19/2025 12:46:43 AM PDT by John Semmens

With polls showing him favored to win the election in November, New York City socialist Democrat mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani vowed to "revolutionize the way this city will be governed. Half-measures will be swept aside and replaced with true equality for all."

"For generations rent-control has produced huge housing inequities," he pointed out. "Those lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time were awarded windfall benefits. Those less fortunate have had to pay outrageous sums for inadequate living space. I will tear down this rotten system by abolishing private ownership of property. Right now the majority of New Yorkers don't own the space they live in. After I'm mayor no one will be permitted to own living space. The government will take ownership, abolish rent, and allocate living space based on need. I will personally approve the appropriate living space for every resident."

"A similar approach will be employed when it comes to ensuring that everyone is adequately fed," the candidate bragged. "The great disparities between the diets of the rich and the poor are ethically indefensible. I will establish publicly owned and operated food distribution centers. Prices will be set at each customer's ability to pay. No one will go hungry just because they are poor."

"I will endeavor to reduce wealth disparities by seizing the means of production," Mamdani promised. "Virtually every billionaire gained his vast wealth by running a business that created a demand for new and previously unneeded products or services. This fluke of luck led to the accumulation of undeserved wealth. By having the government confiscate these businesses the wealth can be more fairly redistributed among the rest of humanity."

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) praised Mamdani's food distribution plan, saying "socialism is the only method capable of achieving true equity. This type of plan fed generations of Russians during the Soviet years. Capitalists mocked that system for its long lines of customers waiting hours to make their purchases. They try to conceal the fact that long lines are a sign of great values. We see similar lines outside movie theaters when great movies are being shown inside. Such lines also have the virtue of teaching folks patience--something which is in short supply in our money-grubbing private sector economy."

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) admitted that "Mamdani's success shows his ideas are popular with voters. Taking from the 'haves' to give to the 'have-nots' has been a theme of our Party since at least the days of FDR. I am a little concerned about his unwillingness to condemn the implicit antisemitism of the intifada. I'd like to hear him discuss issues of public safety, specifically as they relate to the Jewish community."

"The whole point of democracy is majority rule," Mamdani replied. "The whole point of socialism is total equality. Jews must accept the government that the majority votes for. To the extent that Jews have been a part of the pathology of capitalism, of ruthlessly amassing wealth that exceeds their fair share, they must accept the measures that are required to spread the wealth more evenly among all."

In related news, former Nazi collaborator George Soros donated an estimated $37 million to Mamdani's campaign for mayor. Rival candidate for mayor Eric Adams pointed out that "in an interview on CBS' Sixty Minutes, Soros described his work helping the Nazis confiscate property from Jews as 'the happiest days of my life.' Of course, he was a very young man in those days--full of life and vigor. But he was an old man with the full knowledge that the Jews he helped dispossess were subsequently murdered in concentration camps when he went on Sixty Minutes. I can't imagine a decent person could call those the best years of his life, nor that his backing of Mamdani bodes well for Jewish residents of New York."


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: antisemitism; curtissliwa; intifada; jeffries; jews; kathyhochul; nazis; newyorkcity; satire; socialism; warren; zohranmamdani

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1 posted on 07/19/2025 12:46:43 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 07/19/2025 12:48:25 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

“true equality for all” what a load of crap.


3 posted on 07/19/2025 1:09:03 AM PDT by exnavy (See article IV section 4 of our constitution.)
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To: exnavy

Some will have more equality than others.


4 posted on 07/19/2025 1:19:24 AM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF ISR pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: John Semmens
Well, there you have it.

Couldn’t be more clear.

5 posted on 07/19/2025 2:25:57 AM PDT by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump)
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To: John Semmens
If the guy wins, I await his contribution of the houses (mansion?) that come with the office, the housing of the councilmen (or whatever) for the city, and his own abode. If there is no privately owned living space, there can't be city-owned space that is exclusive to the city elite.

Not holding my breath.

6 posted on 07/19/2025 2:45:47 AM PDT by asinclair (Indict DNC for RICO?)
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To: John Semmens

I’m reminded of the scenario from the movie “The Dark Knight Rises” where a psychotic psychiatrist sat as judge of a kangaroo court. As people deemed guilty were dragged before him they were only given a choice between Death or Exile.

The cruel joke was that Exile meant crossing a river in winter on foot over a layer of ice so thin that plunging through a break to a freezing demise by drowning was inescapable.

This punk’s ideas of dismantling Capitalism for Communism reflect that “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” hopelessness and theft of freedom that’s caused the deaths of multiple millions in just the last few generations.

They refuse to learn from Einstein’s definition of madness - repeating the same mistake over and over while expecting a different outcome.


7 posted on 07/19/2025 2:52:36 AM PDT by MikelTackNailer (Git the rope.)
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To: Mark17

An aging hippy South Florida acquaintance took a private lawyer’s loan to keep her house. She’s not paying back the loan (principal or interest), trusting that her shrinking equity will keep her in the house indefinitely.

Meanwhile, she complains about Big Banking, Big Pharmacy, etc.

When her equity inevitably runs out, I’m going to suggest she move to Cuba!

.


8 posted on 07/19/2025 2:57:36 AM PDT by Does so ("Trump said today, "I'm with Ukraine". You?.....🇺🇦...Dem☭¢rat... ∅ one ™ ¿ ¡ ☞≣ ½¼)
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To: Does so
When her equity inevitably runs out, I’m going to suggest she move to Cuba!

Why wait?

9 posted on 07/19/2025 5:17:42 AM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF ISR pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: John Semmens

He’ll be Supreme Leader of NYC


10 posted on 07/19/2025 6:39:36 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens
Wasserman-Schultz observed "the place is like a prison. Freedom of movement is restricted. Detainees are served grilled cheese sandwiches while employees are served roasted chicken meals. The are no fences or walls to prevent detainees from wandering into the alligator and snake infested swamp that surrounds the place. It's as if they're daring the inmates to try to escape."

LOL!

Thanks, John! One of your best columns (and among the most significant).

BTW, caution is advised. You might have given Mamdani a few ideas.

11 posted on 07/19/2025 7:58:21 AM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never...in nothing, great or small...Winston ChurchIill)
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