Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Pete Hegseth Vows Military Will Not Discriminate Against Chicks, Broads, Or Dames
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/26/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/26/2025 12:34:47 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded to allegations of sexism on Thursday by vowing that the United States military would never discriminate against chicks, broads, or dames.

Hegseth had fallen under criticism after apparently failing to specifically recognize the females who participated in the air strikes on Iran, leading him to issue a clarifying statement that the armed forces would never engage in prejudice against skirts.

"I'm sorry for the lack of gender inclusive language," Hegseth said, apologizing to Associated Press reporter Tara Copp. "It was not my intention to impugn the contributions of any chicks, broads, or dames. The military is full of sexy birds and I don't want to downplay the hard work of our babes on the ground, toots."

According to Hegseth, the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding. "I congratulated our 'boys in the bombers' because there were boys in those planes, not because I hate dames," he said. "But you're right, I should have acknowledged the vixens providing support over the radio. They're our pilot's greatest cheerleaders."

According to sources, Hegseth's apology did not go over well, with many calling for his resignation. But the defense secretary says the reaction isn't unprecedented. "Chicks can be like that sometimes," he admitted. "But I'll buy them some flowers and everything will be right as rain."

At publishing time, Pete Hegseth found himself in the proverbial doghouse and said he would do whatever would be necessary to smooth things over with all of the saucy little minxes.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-25 next last

1 posted on 06/26/2025 12:34:47 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

Thats gold Jerry. GOLD!!!


2 posted on 06/26/2025 12:37:31 PM PDT by bigdaddy45
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Just recently I was asked if I wanted to study abroad, and I said it depended on who she was. At my age I can get away with it.


3 posted on 06/26/2025 12:37:37 PM PDT by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Who made the sandwiches?


4 posted on 06/26/2025 12:37:57 PM PDT by Bernard (Issue an annual budget. And Issue a federal government balance sheet. Let's see what we got.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

LOL.

I remember my father telling us about Waves and Wacs; and that in his Marines they referred to ‘BAMS’ - Broad-assed Marines.


5 posted on 06/26/2025 12:38:24 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: chajin
asked if I wanted to study abroad, and I said it depended on who she was

Funny. I always liked Rush’s comment that he was a big fan of the Women’s Movement, especially from the behind.

6 posted on 06/26/2025 12:43:24 PM PDT by FatherofFive (we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: All

The LGBQT+ crowd refer to them as front holers. I kid you not.


7 posted on 06/26/2025 12:44:38 PM PDT by BipolarBob (I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

The Bee made my day again...Thanks...


8 posted on 06/26/2025 12:46:57 PM PDT by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: bigdaddy45

Just to clarify: Sec. Hegseth does not discriminate. His list of hotties includes Pam Bondi, Kristi Noem, Tulsi Gabbard and Tom Homan. Clearly, a properly diverse group. 😵‍💫


9 posted on 06/26/2025 12:47:22 PM PDT by alstewartfan (Old admiras who feel the wind Are never put to sea. Al Stewart)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: DFG
"Chicks can be like that sometimes," he admitted. "But I'll buy them some flowers and everything will be right as rain."
10 posted on 06/26/2025 12:48:28 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Well. Reportedly there was a woman B2 driver on this Hammer mission. Girls can fly airplanes. Bombers. They used to be kept out of combat

Hegseth could have said something different. He will from now on without apologizing- which is the best way around

As a former active duty military woman, I’ve heard it all. I don’t care. I’ll bet she doesn’t care. I don’t know.


11 posted on 06/26/2025 12:52:14 PM PDT by stanne (Because they were mesmerized by Obama, the man for whom this was named, whose name they left out of )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
I've been waiting all year for that one, and you beat me to it!

I'll get even!

12 posted on 06/26/2025 12:52:16 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized, grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey)

13 posted on 06/26/2025 12:52:21 PM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

I just had coffee running out of my nose, on that first sentence. SNL would do well to have a Babylon Bee segment..


14 posted on 06/26/2025 12:54:34 PM PDT by Nabber
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: DFG

What about nappy headed hoes?


15 posted on 06/26/2025 12:56:27 PM PDT by airborne (Thank you Rush for helping me find FreeRepublic! )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Could Hegseth be any more Hegsethy?


16 posted on 06/26/2025 12:58:39 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
There is nothing like a dame . . .
17 posted on 06/26/2025 1:04:13 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother (Ecce Crucem Domini, fugite partes adversae. Vicit Leo de Tribu Iuda, Radix David, Alleluia!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AnAmericanMother

...nothing in the world....! ;)


18 posted on 06/26/2025 1:05:28 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (A horrible historic indictment: Biden Democrats plunging the world into war to hide their crimes!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: DFG
"But I'll buy them some flowers and everything will be right as rain."

Chocolate, Pete. Always deploy chocolate along with the flowers.

A gift certificate to a spa day is sometimes necessary but you really have to have messed up for that to be required.

Generally (see what I did there?) flowers and chocolate should do the trick. And not the kind you get at the gas station either. Not unless you are on a budget.

And Pete, we have all seen the size of your budget. Makes us a little ill thinking about it.

So, flowers, chocolate and a sorry babe should do it.

19 posted on 06/26/2025 1:21:01 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear ( Not my circus. Not my monkeys. But I can pick out the clowns at 100 yards.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

And Babes?


20 posted on 06/26/2025 1:23:57 PM PDT by AndyJackson
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-25 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson