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Trump To Expand Alcatraz By Putting Up Fence Around San Francisco
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/05/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/05/2025 10:53:22 AM PDT by DFG

U.S. — A new era of dealing with depraved lawbreakers dawned today, as President Donald Trump vowed to reopen and expand Alcatraz by putting up a fence around the entire city of San Francisco.

The new plan, which administration insiders said would be implemented immediately, would turn the city into a prison colony for America's worst criminals, most of whom already reside in San Francisco.

"It's a tremendous idea, frankly," Trump told reporters. "We're going to create one big, beautiful prison city, just like the British did with Australia. We will round up all the bad people in our country and ship them off to Alcatraz, which will now encompass all of San Francisco. We're going to build a big fence all around the city and make California pay for it. Most of the awful people are already in San Francisco anyway, so it's a great idea. We just need it to be bigger."

When asked what effect this expansion would have on other Bay Area residents, Trump was resolute. "If they were good people, they wouldn't live there," he said. "Nothing will make America safer and more secure than fencing off San Francisco from the rest of the country. They're bad folks there. All of them. We'll make sure Nancy Pelosi is in there, too."

Polls showed overwhelming support among Americans for fencing San Francisco off from the rest of the country.

At publishing time, sources said construction on the fence was expected to begin later this week, with future expansion plans to include the entire state of California.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 05/05/2025 10:53:22 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Perfect! LOL


2 posted on 05/05/2025 10:55:13 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: DFG

It’s actually a damned good idea


3 posted on 05/05/2025 10:57:41 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: DFG
Love it, what a fantastic idea.

You can keep all the criminals with their strongest supporters--democrats!!! They have so much in common.

4 posted on 05/05/2025 10:58:16 AM PDT by volare737 (Diversity is something to be overcome, not celebrated.)
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To: DFG
What if they want to escape from SanFran?

5 posted on 05/05/2025 11:03:53 AM PDT by BipolarBob (AA told me to quit hanging around drunks. So I quit going to AA, cuz that's where they were.)
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To: BipolarBob

Newsome is probably for anything that stops the migration out of Commiefornia.


6 posted on 05/05/2025 11:07:33 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: DFG

lol


7 posted on 05/05/2025 11:11:34 AM PDT by avital2
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To: DFG

Do the same with Portland to take any overflow.


8 posted on 05/05/2025 11:11:46 AM PDT by sjmjax
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To: DFG

Capital idea outstanding MAGA Inc.


9 posted on 05/05/2025 11:12:48 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: DFG

Fence off Oakland and Berkeley first.


10 posted on 05/05/2025 11:15:55 AM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (“I don’t really care, Margaret.”)
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To: BipolarBob

Snake Plissken? I thought you were dead.


11 posted on 05/05/2025 11:20:43 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DFG
I would prefer we do this some place less scenic.

Perhaps we could annex Tijuana? Or just put them in Death Valley.

12 posted on 05/05/2025 11:21:53 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear ( Not my circus. Not my monkeys. But I can pick out the clowns at 100 yards.)
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To: DFG

One of his top 10 ideas.


13 posted on 05/05/2025 11:26:21 AM PDT by bgill
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Not Death Valley!

Needles. Where the stinking windmills are.


14 posted on 05/05/2025 11:27:11 AM PDT by Orosius (A“Wake America Up Again )
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To: DFG

😂👍


15 posted on 05/05/2025 11:52:38 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: DFG

Actually, fencing off several democrat hellholes wouldn’t be a bad idea.

The cities can implode and when they’ve all killed each other off, we can go in and clean up.


16 posted on 05/05/2025 11:58:56 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesu)
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To: Orosius

Does Snoopy’s brother Spike still live in Needles?


17 posted on 05/05/2025 5:08:13 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: Magnum44

Read it slowly in your mind with a Trump voice.

It’s hysterical.


18 posted on 05/05/2025 11:33:40 PM PDT by SpaceBar
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