Posted on 01/29/2024 9:46:16 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between the federal government and 25 red states over securing the border continued to stoke fears of another Civil War, President Biden cleverly distracted a concerned American public by announcing the start of a new World War.
"It's time to bomb Iran!" said the President to a bowl of melted ice cream on his nightstand. "Those whipper-snappers have been living on borrowed time ever since they chased me and the boys around the pool with switchblades. And if that doesn't do the trick, we'll bomb Russia and China as well. Not a joke!"
Many critics who overheard the conversation questioned the wisdom of such a move, but some in the Republican Party applauded the President's firm stance. "Did someone say 'bomb Iran?'" said Senator Lindsey Graham. "Ooooh baby, I usually wait until the third date for that kind of talk! Is it hot in here?"
Former National Security Advisor John Bolton also applauded the move. "There's nothing I love more than waking up in the morning to the news that we're bombing someone," he said over a breakfast of raw fish being tossed directly into his mouth. He then clapped and grunted loudly.
Experts predict that a Biden World War with a nuclear Iran might take the public's minds off Civil War for at least a couple of weeks. After that, the administration may be forced to activate Taylor Swift.
A World War will bring Civil War here. This nation can never unite again like it did during WWII.
If Biden has a health crisis, the Democrats may have to run Taylor Swift for president. She may be the only one who can beat Trump.
dayumm Bee.....don’t give those idiots any ideas!
Hey, I thought the Bee was supposed to be satire.
They keep slipping into reality.
Well, there HAD been a movement to start a war to unite the coubtry and avoid the War of 1861. Biden is just exoanding the idea… go big or go home, I guess.
There’s a lot to be said about a world war in terms of urban renewal - Tokyo, Berlin, Dresden for example. Might be just what we need.
So not Bee material. Just fact.
Looks like
A regime change
Terms of surrender
Occupation - reparations - war crimes
Gog dnc usa
Magog dnc nato
Edit
The BB’s satires have an eriely way coming true.
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