Posted on 10/23/2023 4:57:09 PM PDT by DFG
STAMFORD, CT — An unspeakable horror was averted today as a Federal Bureau of Investigation tactical team expertly rushed by an angry mob of pro-Palestinian protestors screaming "Kill the Jews" to quickly arrest an elderly woman who was quietly praying outside a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic.
"You need the discipline to ignore any distractions and focus on where the real danger is," said the lead FBI agent as the team made its way through the increasingly agitated crowd of protestors in the street. "Sorry, folks! Pardon us, dear citizens participating in your democratic right to assemble in protest! We've got a clear and present threat to neutralize!"
The team members, clothed in body armor and armed with automatic weapons, politely excused themselves while passing dozens of people waving pro-Hamas signs, lighting fire to American flags, and chanting "Death to the Jews" before reaching their intended target, 78-year-old Nora Greenwald, who was sitting in prayer outside the Planned Parenthood clinic.
"Take her down! Go! Go! Go!" the team leader ordered as other team members pepper-sprayed Greenwald, tased her, wrestled her to the ground, and tightened zip ties around her wrists and ankles.
"Threat neutralized," a team spokesman said after Ms. Greenwald was thrown into the back of a prisoner transport vehicle to be taken in for questioning at an undisclosed location and held indefinitely without trial. "We're proud to get dangerous filth like this off our streets so peaceful people can protest."
At publishing time, the FBI had responded to the threat of a group of Catholic teenagers who were praying the rosary as the pro-Palestinian mob began to set fire to homes and businesses in the area.
Doesn’t sound like satire. At least not nowadays.
This isn’t satire. Its what would occur today.
Silence is violence! Conspiracy with the Holy One is the worst form of terror!
Screaming “Kill the Jews!” is protected speech. What more is there to say?
Damn the Bee today! They had me do a double take with that headline!
I love the Bee, and they are not that far from the truth many times
Bee gag or not there was a woman in England who police knew was having thoughts in her mind of prayers to put an end to abortion. They obviously could read minds. Her prayers were not aloud and she didn’t block any entrance or confront any woman wanting to get an abortion.
Isabel Vaughan-Spruce was arrested twice for silently praying in a “buffer zone” near the British Pregnancy Advisory Services clinic on Station Road in Birmingham by two uniformed officers. After publicity she was released with “an apology.”
Hope they had bullet proof vests and helmets and were armed with automatic weapons. They faced great danger from a silently praying woman.
Darn, Accurate, Hard News Reporting from The Bee, again.
In Australia they arrested a lone man carrying an Israeli flag at a Hamas rally because he would be inciting a riot.
seeing the title on the main page I immediately believed it whole heartedly until I clicked in and seen the Babylon Bee!! lol... ...so your words are true!!
Sounds like they tried to J6 her and then “flip” her against Trump.
Sadly not.
The story needed an FBI undercover added.
Only with a little bit of entrapment and really $hity source that is shady himself would this story be believable.
What’s the difference between a Ouija board and a super double dare secret FBI source? (I need help finishing that thought - I can’t think of anything).
I love the BBee headlines ... LOL !!!
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